Friday, October 10, 2014

Pregnancy is getting…harder.

So here I am, THIRTY FOUR WEEKS! As I've said before, every week is a huge accomplishment and I'm so happy to have made it this far! Nothing new really, both boys were head down at my doctor's appt this week, yay!Hopefully they stay that way, but there's still a huge pocket of fluid in there that gives them lots of space to move around in aka flip directions in, boo. My doctor is out of town until the 20th, so let's cross our fingers they don't come while she's gone!

Here's baby A, we got some really great views of his face during the ultrasound this week, haven't seen either of their faces in a long time so it was really fun. He kept sticking his tongue in and out trying to lick and suck on his fist, so cute! I can't believe how much they can do in there! Also, Casey and I both agreed his lips look really big, we shall see if that's the case in person! So here he is with his tongue sticking out. Also that line to the right of his face is the sac that separates him and Baby B

Some days are easier than others, I try to sit a lot. But just because I try doesn't  mean it necessarily happens, the show must go on. Maxson needs to be cared for, food needs to be made, the house needs to be cleaned. I can't just stop (even though making it stop would definitely make this pregnancy easier, ha). I'm just chugging. Here's 34 weeks!

Here was a post I was going to post last week for 33 weeks but never got around to it, ha. This was definitely one of my not as good days… I laugh while reading how pathetic I sound but also know it's the cold hard truth and days like this will (sadly) still pop up over the next month.


33 weeks.
I am the point where I want to be physically and emotionally done (most of the time.)

It's so hard to get up from any position, sitting, laying, leaning, whatever it is, it's really hard.

My legs are starting to feel like little sausages when they're bent. I still am sitting on the ground a lot if it's (trying) to play with Maxson, picking up toys, organizing something in my house, working on some last minute to-do craft project, taking a bath, etc. It' just getting really uncomfortable and too tight when I'm bent, plus there's no room for belly when I'm down there.

My back kills. My back brace is only kind of working, it usually just always hurts.

Sleeping has begun to get awful. Switching sides in the middle of the night is like rolling over with 50 pounds of dead weight hanging off your belly, I dread it. You guys, it's hard. I get up 2-3 times a night to go to the bathroom. Any position borderline hurts and I barely get any sleep it feels like so therefore I'm tired all day long. Part of me wants to sleep on the couch because I would then have a back support and I could use a pillow for my front support but the thought of sleeping on a couch sounds like it would hurt more and then I wouldn't be sleeping by Casey which would make me sad.

Some people look at me and say "I just don't know how you can stretch anymore." Sometimes I agree with that, and other times I'm like "I can get way bigger are you kidding me." But then again, I know that getting bigger is just going to hurt more :(

Housework is overwhelming. My house gets messy SO fast for so many reasons but I can't keep up with the mess as it comes. So it gets really bad and then I somehow find energy to clean it or a portion of it up which literally gets me out of breath. I sit down and can't do anything for the next hour it seems like and within that hour it all returns. Messiness isn't so bad but dirtiness must be dealt with: floors dishes, spills. It just kills me. Casey has really stepped into help a ton but since he also has to help way more with Maxson and has lots of studying to do, it's all really taking a toll on him too.

I am getting so slow. It makes me sad that I can't play with Max the way I used to, or push him on his bike, or run after and play with him. I just don't feel like my body right now and I waddle so slowly after Max unable to catch him. I'm just ready to be "young" again.

To be completely honest (and probably totally childish)  I'll look at Casey in an extreme moment of pain with tears beginning to well up and say "Casey, being pregnant is just getting so hard, I don't know how much longer I can do this"

I'm just huge.

I'm achy/in pain most of the time.

I'm grateful I am still pregnant with these twins.

I'm grateful I'm pregnant with twins at all.

I'd rather be pregnant and still achy like this than have them in the NICU but that doesn't physically make it easier.

Mentally I'm wearing down.

I'm hoping these next 4 1/2 weeks go by in a flurry.

I'm at the point where I think it will be easier to take care of two more babies outside my body with Maxson around than to continue like this.

Send good thoughts my way.


Ha, see like I said, a little pathetic sounding, but really it's the truth. Here's to 3 1/2 weeks left!!!!!!

Here's some silly pictures I've asked Casey to take recently to remind me of how difficult things have been. Doing dishes is hard because my belly doesn't allow me to get close to the sink so I either have to hunch over and work or turn sideways and work, neither are comfortable. Also, I SQUISH Maxson in the rocking chair when reading him books and singing songs before naps/bedtime. Sometimes he says "owie" if he's too squished, ha. (ps-that is not my belly hanging out, it is a stretchy wrap I wear under shirts because NOT A SINGLE SHIRT will cover my belly these days. Cue tears. Also my legs look huge in this picture, I don't think they normally look like that…this could have been a more strenuous day of too much activity, who knows…)


Brittany said...

Oh girl, so close but so far away! I really hope it goes by quickly for you. I remember feeling the worst aches pain and fatigue when pregnant with my 3 rd and just feeling like I was drowning in my duties to take care of kids and home. And I was only cooking one baby!
Hope those sweet babies come on time and you can get some comfort back soon!

AN Petersen said...

You poor girl. Being pregnant is hard enough, I can only imagine with twins : ( I am hoping that the babies stay in a little longer because it is better for them, but I will pray for you that you have the strength to hang on as long as possible. I guess the one bright spot is that you have an end date and don't just have to wait until they show up.
I was actually thinking about you yesterday and hoping that things were going well for you.

Melanie said...

I'm dying over the ultrasound pic! How adorable is he?!

You are amazing Kimber, seriously! I wish I could come help because I remember barely being able to breathe at 28 weeks so I can't imagine 34 weeks with a toddler! That is such a huge accomplishment! I hope you get some relief. We're thinking of you guys!

Cherri said...

You are awesome my dear.... enduring to the end has a new meaning now... :) Praying for you daily!

Andy Ballstaedt said...

I can't believe your body can do this! I wish I could come clean your house for you or hold your belly up to give you some relief. I just can't believe your body can do what it's doing! I'll never complain about my body aching again...just kidding I will but then I'll remember you and your 50 pound belly trying to roll over to sleep and then I'll feel weak sauce. Can't wait to see it in live action tomorrow!