Saturday, April 18, 2015

Busy but joyful

Life has been good. So busy, but so good.

People always ask how it is, how are the twins, how's Maxson, how am I and how is Casey's school?

And all those answers are busy.

The babies are busy constantly eating, spitting up, pooping, sleeping, getting diapers changed, wanting to gnaw on things, rolling, crying, being held. Just busy (they are definitely going to be getting busier soon!)

Max is busy. Sigh. So busy. Maybe busier than Casey and myself, ha. Busy making messes, running places, jumping, sneaking yogurt out of the fridge to eat, pulling chairs places to get things, riding bikes (trikes and his strider), busy building towers, lining up cars, eating sugar, sleeping, taking baths. That boy never stops (unless he's in front of a movie, then he stops,ooy.) Today he happened to take his first dumpster diving excursion and to his surprise a neighbor across the street had thrown away a HUGE dump truck and big red race car. Max was pleased as punch.

I am busy. I am busy cleaning up messes, changing diapers, soothing cries, making food, doing dishes, putting children to sleep, sleeping myself, kissing owies, organizing the house, reaching out to friends, wiping noses, counters, floors, and bums. I am busy and feel like breaks are few. Does tired count as busy?

Casey is busy. He is busy with school: clinic, lab, tests, picking up the house of where I always seem to fall short, playing with the children, relieving me of diaper duty, putting Max to bed, prepping bottles, doing his church calling, caring for his family and oh so much more.

We are busy.

But among that busy-ness is JOY.

Oh man are we full of joy and happiness and I am so grateful to a Father in Heaven who has given us that precious gift to enjoy life. He always meant for us to be a happy people!!

A month or so back I was at my wits end of motherhood: running on little sleep, a REALLY messy house that I was behind on in every area, babies who weren't sleeping, and a toddler who seemed to fight me on EVERYTHING. I remember multiple days in a row that as soon as Casey got home I would go straight upstairs to to cry in my bed thinking "this is so hard! Where is the joy? When did this become not fun and enjoyable anymore? I usually love motherhood, what is wrong with me?!"

That feeling of unhappiness lasted about a week and lifted about the time the weather began getting better and we could play outside with friends again.

But today, I began crying again too.

Crying as I squeezed Bryson to my chest thinking of how much I love that little baby and I love being a mom and I love him and I love everything about life right now and that I want him to stay little and cute a squeezable for forever. My heart was literally exploding in love and happiness I had over that child.

Without the sadness  in life we truly cannot fully appreciate and experience the joys in life.

I am grateful for a wise Father in Heaven who is always there for me, through the joy and pain, the sorrow and happiness, the good and the bad. He is always there and He constantly teaches me so much.

Every person goes through these feelings of sorrow and happiness often, I assume. Just 2 years ago i wrote a similar post about the joy, exhaustion, and then joy again of motherhood. Apparently it's a reoccurring thing for me to even blog about.

It's hard but always worth it.

Over and out


Blair said...

Beautifully said. I'm glad you said it's good to have those hard sad times so we can fully appreciate the good and the joy. Very wise, kimber. Thanks for sharing.

Joe and Jocelyn Sigety said...

YOU my friend are a VERY good mom!