The house was completely dark and quiet and peaceful.
I was just sitting in bed nursing my sweet new baby.
How I love this new sweet baby so much. I fall head over heels with my babies and I forget every time. They are absolute heaven. I want to hold and cuddle and kiss him all day long. How I long to hold him again after putting them down to go to work on the house. It has been incredibly non stressful with baby number 4, I know what I'm doing and have an idea what to expect of various aspects so this time I can just purely enjoy this sweet bundle of joy, because that's truly what he is. He has brought so much love into our family these past few weeks. There were so many times I completely broke down with gargantuan tears the weeks and months before his birth questioning Heavenly Father how I could possibly handle another child when I'm barely keeping the 3 I have and myself alive through the day, why was He sending another?! And now I can see we were missing a piece of love and patience and bonding in our puzzle and Easton has brought that piece to all the members of our family. I love love love this little baby Easton like crazy.
Knowing my husband lay right next to me, happily asleep. He works so hard for our family. Stresses over keeping our family safe, well, cared for. SO often thinking of us before himself. He's a shining example of selfless so much of the time and has no clue. I just cry when I think about how lucky I am to have him. That he chose me. That my favorite person in this whole world also thinks I'm his favorite person. I don't know what I would do without him. He's my rock and my world.
Just across the hall lay my 3 sweet sleeping boys. Max and my other babies. We still call the the twins the babies, we just can't quite quit the habit. Those twins of mine make me want to cry in frustration and cry of sheer joy and love and cuteness at so many moment of the day. They are at such a tender age, so innocent, so loving, so mischievous. They bring me so much joy, I can't believe we have survived twins this far. They have been so hard at times and so much fun. They love me like I am their whole world. They have been so sweet to our new baby, they are such good boys, I hope I can be a good mom for them.
And then sweet Max in his own room next to theirs. He's such a good big brother. He's been so good to the twins, they play together, he guides them, helps them, looks out for them (and hits pushes them way too much). He can be so sensitive to the feelings of others (and so completely oblivious at times). He constantly is wanting to hold and love Easton, looking out for him when he cries, talking to him, telling me he wants to hold his "choot baby." I hope I am giving him my adequate time and attention to help him learn and grow. I can't believe how fast he's growing, slipping away from my nest with the slow pull of school beginning. He brings me so much joy, he is my first baby after all and will forever be my baby.
I have been so blessed with the most wonderful family. They are not perfect, like, at all, but, they are perfect for me. Shaping me into the woman I need to be more. Helping me forget about myself to serve others, serve like all the day long, ha, but I love them and would do anything for these 5 boys. They are my world, and to the 4 little boys Casey and myself are their world. I want to be kinder, more loving, more patient, more intentional. I want to be my best for them and savor up these days when they are completely mine with little to no outside distractions.