2 girls?

one night while we were in utah, casey and i BOTH had dreams that we were having twin girls! how weird is that that it happened the same night? I've had dreams before of boy/girl and boy/boy but this was casey's first dream about having twins (i literally dream about it every night) and my first dream that it was 2 girls. ironic? we shall see! we'll find out in 2 weeks time what the gender are!

pregnancy thus far

oh boy has this pregnancy been different! we are so very ecstatic to be adding a little one to our family this year! here's a little sum up of the past few weeks:

4 weeks: we find out we're pregnant! i get up with (crying) maxson at the wee hours of 6:45 am, take a pregnant test and am just giddy with excitement. i'm so beyond happy with the results that i hug and squeeze, and kiss maxson all over and he becomes happy. casey is due to wake up at 7:15 so at 7:14 i go put my face close to his in bed and whisper "i'm pregnant" with a big smile on my face. he starts shaking his head no while a smile creeps onto his face while his eyes stay closed (amidst us is maxson crying, because i closed the bathroom door, ha). come to find out he was going to go to class an hour later that day, meaning he was finally going to get to sleep in, but my news would mean he'd be too excited to keep sleeping, thus that head shaking, ha. he too was thrilled. we were both very surprised it happened that month but it was very welcome nonetheless.

in a random family text my mom says to everyone "did you know byu is getting a new president?" casey  then follows with a "did you know we are getting a new baby?" our family was very happy and surprised.

5 weeks: feeling great, hung out in indiana with casey's siblings where we told them our news, they are such great exciting news receivers making you feel like a million bucks

6 weeks: BOOM. morning sickness. ugh. i wasn't sick one lick with maxson so i wasn't expecting this AT ALL. granted i know what i feel wasn't bad at all in comparison to what others feel. it truly was minor, the first hour or so after i woke up, and the last hour or so before i went to bed. i spent this week trying to figure out common causes and helpings. also my lack of blogging at the end of march was due to this plus the fact that during nap times i was sleeping the whole 2 hours too. i needed that nap.

7 weeks: hit and miss. i definitely understood the important of getting a lot of good sleep at night, that helped. i still randomly would feel yucky during different times of the day.

8 weeks: saltine crumbs cover our floor and couch nearly everyday. i eat those a lot, they help, a little, a little is better than none. definitely keeping up on eating food all day long helps but it's this viscous cycle of not feeling well, not wanting to eat, not having enough motivation to get up and make something nutritiously filling, therefor i just get a small snack like yogurt or a cheese stick, and since i didn't eat a lot, the yucky feeling comes back sooner, etc. it's this never ending cycle. the house is nearly always a wreck. it's so hard to find motivation to keep up on it with maxson, he's so busy!!!! but actually staying busy helps a lot, it takes my mind off the yucky feeling, so…

9 weeks: not so bad actually, i've felt a lot less yucky overall, just a few times in the evenings now. woohoo! it probably has helped that i've been quite busy with easter, get togethers, and being in arizona with my family. i get twinges of pain in my lower sides of my abdomen if i move in a wrong directions. i remember them from my last pregnancy too, not sure what they're from.

10 weeks: felt super awesome! i wonder if it was because i was in arizona most of it. nonetheless, i finally felt better. still not much energy to make food and want to eat all food but no sitting around. i already pee 1-2 times a night. bladder control is not my strong suit, ha.

11 weeks: TWINS!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!!! holy moly biggest shock of my entire life. i think finding out you're having twins is akin to finding out you're pregnant when you had NO plans of getting pregnant. you're not ready for it, there's so many more changes to life than the plan you had scripted out, it's just WILD! it constantly consumes my mind, i'm already losing sleep over it because i wake up in the middle of the night to pee and then that's all i can think about and can't go back to sleep! i toss and turn the rest of the night. oh man these babIES! also this week was when i had my first doctor's appointment and man we found out NEWS! the end of the week included lots of nights of not feeling so great :( evening sickness…

12 weeks: so so all week. we were in wyoming and my saintly mother in law cooked all the food for me and didn't make me lift a single finger when it came to dishes. my belly has popped out a little compared to last week. if i'm thoroughly distracted in the evenings my stomach never bothers me but that's not always the case, we shall see…

13 weeks: it's like a flip switched! i'm suddenly not tired and don't always need naps and my stomach uneasiness has disappeared, it's a miracle! anything and everything sounds just fine to eat. i don't have to constantly be eating to stop myself from feeling yucky, it's just WONDERFUL! goodbye first trimester, hello honeymoon second trimester!

14 weeks: during the first trimester food was hard. nothing sounded good usually (except chicken noodle soup) but i knew i had to eat something. the LAST thing i was willing to eat was mexican food. guess what was the first thing i made when i got home after our trips? tacos. ha. also hunks of meat sounded awful. again, that first week back i made us steaks. my belly has already begun sticking out quite a bit. not only do i have a disadvantage of not showing for awhile because this is my second pregnancy, but add on to that being a twin pregnancy and i'm goners. i'm appreciating all the comfortable nights of sleeping as much as i can right now, i know it won't be lasting very long!

14 weeks

the size of lemons

i just reached 15 weeks, so I'll post about that soon.
i can only imagine how large i will be getting with these babies, seriously i will be GINORMO

FAQ when having twins

how did you find out?
i went in to my doctor for my first appointment at 11 weeks. per usual, they do ultrasounds at every appointment no matter what, it's wonderful. so my doctor began the ultra sound starting with the black and white 2D one (the x-ray looking type). we saw the baby and i was just so happy to finally be meeting out baby! it was the first initial picture and it all makes it so real, it's a beautiful experience. she took some measurements, we listened to the heartbeat which was fabulous i was just so happy to see my baby in there with a beating heart. she then switched to the 4D ultrasound picture and we saw this:

i thought it was just a glitch in the technology that somehow it slowed and duplicated the picture since the 2 look the same and are facing the same way. i saw her lean forward, pause for the slightest second, switch back to the 2D and she started doing some fishing round my abdomen moving from one ball area to another after a couple of times she said "i can't believe i missed that (then switching back to the 4D) you're having twins!"

what was your initial reaction?
there's no denying it when you're there in the room looking at the ultra sound and two babies moving around on the screen. tears were immediate. tears of amazement and excitement, what an amazing blessing! but i was SUPER surprised and shocked and then overwhelmed at the thought and then "how in the world could this have possibly happened?" went through my mind. just so surprised. then when the doctor left the room i just left my hands on my face (like the home alone face) thinking about it all. during the rest of the appointment it was just a lot of shock. once the appointment was over was when the tears really started to come down mostly just tears of "oh my gosh, how are we going to do this?" and then the nurses walked in to get me to bring me to the nurses room to talk over regular pregnancy things, it was real hard to stop those tears because i thought i was going to have a little time to just let it all go, ha.

what was casey's initial reaction?
disbelief. i came home and just showed him the picture right away. he did not believe me "no. where did you get this? who's picture is this? this isn't yours right? no way. no way." and then that just continued for a few minutes until he came to accept it! he was just as stunned and surprised as i was.

what was your parents' reactions?
kinda the same as casey's. everyone super close to us didn't believe us at first when they saw the picture but then they kinda just have to. it's just something you totally wouldn't anticipate and not on your radar at all.

how did you tell your family?
we tried facetiming as many people as we could, firstly our family members. we told them oh hey, we went to the doctor today and wanted to show you a picture, that's when they pretended they were interested and said ok (an 11 week ultrasound is usually pretty ho-hum), once they were able to get a clear view of the picture most everyone gasped with a "is that twins/are there 2 babies/oh my gosh two/twins??" we loved everyone's reactions so much. that's been once of the best things these past few weeks: telling family and close friends the news in person, it's SOOO fun to see/get to hear their reactions!

do twins run in your family?
nope

were you on fertility drugs/IVF?
nope (you wouldn't believe how many not close people ask me this question for how much of a very personal question this is)

are you planning on breastfeeding them both?
crossing my fingers yes! i know it's going to take ALL my time it will feel like but you gotta have goals. if i need to supplement with formula here and there it will be just fine

are you going to move homes?
i don't know. i hope not, but then again 5 people in our little place???? ooy. the first 6 months won't be bad since they're so small and not mobile, it'll be that last year of dental school that could potentially break us, ha. but it might be worth it us to cram in that small place for a year because of the support system of friends on the street and the ease of being able to just walk out your front yard to hang out with friends instead of needing to pack 3 kids up in the car to go hang out with friends. i'm hoping we can make it work! (and then we'll super duper appreciate a bigger house when we get out of dental school)

are you scared?
not really. that first day of finding out i was super overwhelmed and a tad bit scared, but you just get used to the idea and you come to accept it! so nope, just more excited and maybe a tiny apprehensive about making it all work. having twins has completely become our new normal

do you have to get a c-section?
i don't have to. if the twins are in good positions to deliver vaginally then we're going to go for it. the thought of twins, breastfeeding, a BUSY 2 year old, and stairs all around and a c-section does slightly scare me.

twins! twins? twins!!!!

thank you for all the congratulations, make the news new all over again! i am 15 weeks now and feeling great! more on the actual pregnancy to come later this week for now:

**written the day after finding out we were having twins**

oh boy yesterday may have been the biggest surprise of my life. finding out that you're having twins when it's the most unexpected thing that could you ever find out in your pregnancy is the biggest shock in the entire world. seriously, it has been such an overwhelming day. the joy, the excitement, the shock, the fear, the blessing, the adventure, wow, it just throws you for a whirlwind!

all day long  that was the constant thing that dwelt in my mind. not just that i am pregnant which is still super exciting but the fact that there will be two, two, TWO babies in there and coming out into the world at the same time. i am still just so overwhelmed at the thought of having twins, i can't believe it's real. i mean, i know it's real for sure, i was right there in the ultra sound. like many others i didn't have to say "no way, you're kidding me? are you sure" there's no denying it when you're looking at a picture/video/ultra sound of TWO little babies wiggling like crazy. it was just SHOCKING. (shocking and overwhelming are the two golden words of the day, the sum up my emotions the best)

the thing is, i am a sleeper, it's like my hobby, one of my favorite hobbies. if that sounds super lazy i know it is, i know, it's totally a problem in my life. well you can only imagine how difficult it was for me to go to bed the night we found out about twins! i was face timing people all day to share our joyous news, it was just so hard to keep in! the people i was talking to later into the night my excuse to end the conversation was that i needed to go to bed because i was tired, which i was. i usually go to bed between 10-10:30 since becoming pregnant, but although i was tired my mind was still racing too much! people kept finally calling back, or i'd have an idea to call just one more person, and then casey and i just kept talking in bed, and before i knew it it was past midnight and i still wasn't asleep. i did finally fall asleep after over an hour or so laying in bed with the thought of twins running through, but once i awoke at 4:50 to go to the bathroom (i have to go the bathroom in the middle of the night always, literally starting the night i find out i'm pregnant, so silly) i COULD NOT go back to sleep. my mind was on and the thought of twins was back to racing in my mind. i can't begin to tell you how weird this is for me, i can always fall back to sleep, anywhere, anytime, no matter the circumstance i am your girl. by 6:15 i called it quits and got up to make myself french toast. wow, the difference twins has already made in my life!!!!

tomorrow: twin FAQ's

we have a secret(s) to share!

wait a second, let's take a closer look...

indeed,
two babies! 
TWINS!

we're shocked, thrilled, nervous, overwhelmed, excited, apprehensive but most of all grateful for this monumentous surprise in our lives!

full term on november 5th :)

lots of blog posts coming this week all about our thoughts and questions we get asked, check back soon!

a little dirt never hurt

this morning we went outside to play.

we do that all day everyday it feels like.

(man oh man i wish there was a fence around our backyard area).

as soon as maxson stepped outside he found the mud.

mud is like a magnet to him.

he's drawn to it immediately and goes all in.

like i said a little dirt mud never hurt.

it builds their immune system right?

the dirtier they are at night the more fun they had during the day.

like the picture on my wall says, let them be little

these pictures don't do his muddiness justice, we took a bath asap once inside.

while sitting on the steps watching maxson play i got to thinking about the overprotective world all around me. you wouldn't believe the amount of people who told me/maxson no to play with certain objects, playing on certain things, climbing places, etc. he's just a curious little boy, let him play, let him explore! i am very much a "if he gets hurt then he'll learn" mentality. and you know what, he hasn't gotten any serious repercussions thus far from that thinking. everything is new, why not let them try? trust me, i watch my boy like  hawk and while he climbs scary bars at the playground my heart is pounding with every step he takes. when he slips, he's learned to hold on tight and yell for help (he doesn't know it's help, he just yells to get my attention, ha). but kids learn. let them learn. let them explore. let them get dirty. let them be little.

our trip to utah and the specialness of provo

after our trip in wyoming we drove down a couple more hours to utah to watch my niece and nephew for a few days while my brother and his wife were out of town for business stuff. we were able to sneak off a couple times to provo to try out some fun things. overall we just really loved our time there. taking care of 3 kids is hard but having incredible weather the whole time sure helped. we went to the park everyday with them if not twice a day. it was so refreshing to sit in the cool shade, perfect temperature, soft grass with no bugs, watching the children run and jump and slide and be so happy. it truly felt amazing.

here's a few of the pictures from my phone.

a. maxson slept the whole time from wyoming to utah, **tender mercy**
b. that first sight of those beautiful utah mountains was breathtaking. holy moly do we miss the mountains so very much.
c. we met up with our good friends, the sigety's, for a little hang out and lunch. it was the best. they make us laugh so hard. their little boy is adorable and towers over maxson at the mere age of 2 1/2.
d. a trip to BYU!!!!

a. we loved toting maxson around with us on campus
b. Y donuts. we bought the beloved cougar tails/maple bars but these look cooler
c. parking it with our cousins britton
d. britton at the playground

a.-d. took a small excursion up to bridal veil falls. casey was the super cool dad and bought the fish food for 25 cents, well worth the quarter because then the fish came all around us, maxson loved throwing out the little pieces of food.

a.-c. bridal veil falls
d. lunch at j-dawgs for casey (i did take a bite and man oh man was it yummy)

a.-d. feeding the ducks at the duck pond at BYU. maxson was thoroughly impressed by the ducks and was super eager to throw them food (after his experience with the fish). he threw ginormous pieces at the ducks though, they were probably sick after we left. (j-dawgs gave us  whole bag of squished bread, so nice)

a.&b. tried out sodalicious. definitely approve. we both highly recommend the boy scout. casey went back 3 times during our trip. i also tried their sugar cookie which was equally delicious
c. finally tried out slab pizza. hoy hannah was it YUMMY! i got some potato, rosemary, bacon goodness and wow it was good. casey got the buffalo chicken (surprise surprise). he liked his a ton too

a. met up with our great friend kelly at the beloved in-n-out. dang those burgers are good
b. the beautiful timpanogas mountain.
c. went to casey's grandpa and grandma's house for dinner one evening. the kids loved all their toys. we loved the company of those wise (older) souls
d. found britton one morning like this :) desitin. the perfect santa bear was impressive.

a.&b. tried out art city donuts. HOLY CRAP those were good!!!! luckily i don't live around there because those puppies would make me so fat so quick. the people working the food truck were seriously so kind to us too.
c. tried out swig. another soda place. their soda was sober carbonated but still good casey said. their sugar cookie was extremely yummy though.
d. and awful waffle! dang those crepes are so goo, lincoln needs to get on the breakfast train. abby got a waffle and loved it. we also picked up pizzas from sixth street pizzeria (2 businesses within one store) again, extremely amazing. i got the margherita and casey the buffalo chicken.

not pictured:
lunch with wonderful cousins.
a really cool jump house in the upstairs of brother's house.
brick oven pizza.
watching abby at her horse riding lesson.
a movie every night with casey.
me napping every day while the kids napped.


and here is a random list if things casey and i discussed that makes provo so special.

- it is totally normal to be driving/walking around and see people dressed up in white shirts or nice dresses at any moment in the day. you don't think twice about it. anywhere else you do a double take and say, "are those missionaries!!!!???"

- the mountains are gorgeous. holy heck. after living 2 years on flat land nebraska i can officially say the mountains in the utah valley are breathtaking and awe inspiring. even casey appreciated their majestic-ness

- all the amazing places to eat. holy heck. it's like a food gold mine in provo, so many awesome places, new ones constantly starting all in a pretty close radius to each other so it's not that big of deal to drive to them. wow there are seriously so many awesome new yummies around.

- speaking of yummies (this has nothing to do with the making provo so special part) but soda/sweet shops/breakfast treats places have completely taken over the scene of frozen yogurt

- everywhere we drove you could spot someone pushing around a stroller. made me feel like i belonged!

- there's so much energy in the city. a l l   d a y   l o n g. there's constantly people walking places, biking places, working out/running places, entertaining kids places. the energy never stops, it's incredible

- the gorgeous weather. no humidity is LOVELY. we hit this peak period in the year where it's pretty warm by late day (75-80) but cools off real nicely in the evenings to 40/50's. it's lovely to be outside nearly all times of the day

- the flowers everywhere. even crappy houses have made an effort to put flowers somewhere outside their home and it adds to the beautiful scenery everywhere.

-BYU. the specialness of BYU is probably only special to alumni but man oh man. walking around that campus you can't help but grin ear to ear. so many good memories it makes me want to cry. don't get me started on that bookstore. as a student i was always like "who buys all this BYU junk?" and now when i come back i'm think "casey, we need to buy ALL these wonderful BYU things!"

-church buildings everywhere. and not only church buildings, but ones with cars in the parking lots constantly. brings a smile to my face when i see that.

it's funny we were SO immersed in BYU the 4 years we were there, completely devoted our whole selves to the scene, people and lifestyle that after those 4 years we were SOO ready to be done with provo ready for something new. and now that we're gone, going back is SO fun and SO special and we miss it SO much. we definitely took advantage of it all while we lived there but oh man how we miss it. BYU friends, soak it in. 

our trip to wyoming

after an hour in the car on the way to wyoming i made the biggest gasp ever and realized i had forgotten my big nice camera at home. i was devastated. i'd never done that before. so our wyoming trip has only the phone pictures :( at least we still had a camera to use, right?

a. entertaining himself while i packed up, eh whatever works
b. on the road AGAIN, grr
c. beautiful wyoming sunset (not seen are the 100's of tumble weeds pummeling our car, it literally felt like a video game of the desire to dodge objects while driving)
d. awful wyoming weather: snow :(

a. trying to teach maxson to clean up his own messes, this time i think he dumped over a plant?
b. snuggly baby
c. grandpa shared popcorn with maxson and he was obsessed
d. for mother's day nan took us to get pedicures, it was wonderful and so much fun (and casey joined in too…ha)

a. endless bath times in grammy and grandpa's tub, that place is his absolute favorite i think
b. it snowed all day mother's day
c. casey with his momma on mother's day
d. a new toy obsession.

a. & b. library time
c. karlee brought snow in for maxson to play with
d. piano practicing with karlee

a.-d. maxons's first soft serve ice cream for FHE, hilarious

a.-d. more soft serve

mother's day was very sweet this year. we were in wyoming with casey's family. maxson woke up at 5:30, somehow he didn't get the memo it was mother's day??!?!?!!?! but luckily casey did, and got up with him, that angel. once i did wake up i came down stairs to that husband of mine flipping pancakes while holding my big baby maxson on his hip. #swoon. next to him was my father in law preparing a wonderful sunday meal with the whole shebang.

church was sweet and we were able to listen to the wonderful speakers since family was around to help entertain/corral maxson. one talk was on the important role the parents play in the tree of life vision found in 1st Nephi and i learned so many new insights. maxson went to the last hour of nursery while the young women were in there since his younger sister would be in there helping. the women of the ward were squished in the relief society room while we hear inspiring, uplifting words from the bishop. i could feel the power and energy of all the women around me at all stages of life. knowing that i am just barely at the beginning on the rope of motherhood is both daunting and exciting. the lesson was finished with M&M cookies to eat. my MIL could also tell i was very uncomfortable sitting in the chair and because scratching/tickling/rubbing my back, again what a great mother's day present. that hasn't happened in years!

once home i was able to call my mom to wish here a happy mother's day. oh it was so good to talk to her. 

dinner tasted wonderful, how and why does food taste so much better when you haven't prepared it, is that just me? for the first time in a long time, mashed potatoes just tasted so dang good. i could not get enough of them.

i don't remember the rest of the day but i do remember being around that wonderful cutler family, feeling loved, feeling their love, and trying to express my love to the different mothers all round me.

life in lincoln on the phone

a. poured out the wheat flour everywhere
b. oreo mess
c. entertainment in the car
d. poured cereal out everywhere

a.-b. family home evening lesson on reverence (during prayers)
c. at the mall
d. decided to get out the tool bench on a desperate day

a. chalk outside
b. whenever he sees a skateboard he's always trying to ride it
c.-d. at the lincoln zoo with friends. maxson loved the peacock most i believe, those things have the craziest yells

life is definitely getting happier again now that it's warm enough out in lincoln. we still have crappy rainy/cold days every once and awhile but overall i can see an end to winter/spring and pure summer making its way!

arizona from my phone

a. watching planes at the airport
b. driving his car around the airport windows
c. made it to the heat of arizona
d. i was amazed at how i had forgotten how arizona does show signs of spring

a. kirk took me on a ride in his rhino. curves my appetite for needing to go on my own motorcycle ride
b. maxson loves everyone who shares their phone/ipad
c. rhino ride
d. motorcycle ride

a. & b. obsessed with this popper/roller. had to take it with him everywhere that first day
c. sunglasses twins
d. the little puppy scout was too adorable

a. give max a pen…
b. fell asleep with sunglasses on like this
c. more sleepiness before the splash pad
d. splash pad

a. whitney and evolett
b. cousins!
c. early morning scriptures outside
d. helping my mom with a balloon job

a.-c. eating at ti rosa's. the main restaurant had a fire so the taqueria was extra busy with extra seating in the parking lot
d. fun with pots and pans

a.-b. the zoo
c. on a walk with granny
d. piano playing

a.-c. haircut time with whitney! my favorite gal
d. after a week away from casey we were both thrilled to be back to him. maxson gave him the best excited to see you face at the airport.

Happy Mother's Day Kimber and all mom's out there!!!

Kimber is such a good Momma, she lets Max sleep on her at church.

Kimber's such a good momma, she finds time in her busy life to go on dates with me.

Kimber's such a good momma, she cuts Maxson's hair for free!!!

Kimber's such a good momma, she loves coming with me to my home and I love my MOMMA!

Kimber's such a good momma, she always thinks of ideas to dress up as for Halloween.

Mother's Day is about remembering mothers and everything that they have done for you in your life. I have a wonderful Mother, and Mother-in-law that have taught me very important things about life and love. Thank you for being such good examples to not only me but Maxson and everyone you have come in contact with!! Love you. Kimber is the mother of my children and has nothing but love for her child. I am excited to share this mother's day with you Kimber! This is the second mother's day that actually has meant something and there will be many more to come. I hope you know you are loved and that you mean the world to our family. Love you!!!

more arizona activities

the splash pad.
i was so excited to go to the splash pad with max. he on the other hand didn't really care for the splash pad sadly. in time my child, in time…
although the picture on the left is not in focus, i think it's just the cutest thing ever.

ma fell asleep on the way to the splash pad, once i got him out he refused to wake up until whitney came with her puppy scout, he jumped out of my arms like a hot potato and was suddenly happy and awake. oh the power of cute puppies!
(tristan and evolett in these pics)

max loved playing on all the quads and motorcycles in the garage. whenever he got on them he started making his car sound.

and all the children think kirk's big rhino is the best playground ever.

cousin love. it really is precious how automatic friends they become, they were so sweet to max.

celebrating phoebe's 4th birthday!!!!

i love my mom's BYU wall!
(and these last few park pictures aren't from AZ but i'm including them just because)




we had the best time in arizona.
i love the heat, i love it so much. max greatly enjoyed playing outside constantly too.
family makes everything better.
we also DID go swimming while there! it was cold but when you have a little boy who just keeps creeping deeper and deeper in the water (with me holding his hand) you just can't say no to the fun!!!!
i think those pictures are on my phone, i'll get them on here soon enough!