Progression of the twin bump.

 Amazing news, I finished our 2014 family photo album! Wahoo! It's been 2 months shy of being done for almost 4 months now so it was high time I got my bum in gear. I made a comparison of my pregnancy pictures in it that I thought would be fun to share here too. Being this huge feels like yesterday even though it was 7(!) months ago, ha. It is something I will never forget. So do enjoy my giganticness and feel free to compare your pregnant self to me and feel way good about yourself ;)

That last month was so hard to find clothing to fit over my stomach. Casey's shirts didn't really fit me anymore except for like 2, and even then I would have liked more room in them. I am so proud of what my body did and still amazed how God created it to do such amazing things. The trust He has in us women!

Click here for the same comparison pictures when I was pregnant with Maxson

And another fun series we did. Slowly but surely my toes seem to disappear! That belly was HUGE!

The end of an era aka the end of pregnancy with twins!

36 weeks 

The night before I was induced was a happy one, I knew I was so so close to being done with this pregnancy so I needed to enjoy it. We spent some of the night outside with friends watching them carve pumpkins, drinking spooky punch, discussing the impending change!

 Last family picture of 3!

 Violet, Kylie, Zach

 Jared, Julie, Grace, Katie

 Myself and Katie

35 weeks and still pregnant!

Shocking. I'm truly surprised my body hasn't been like "Ok, this is getting ridiculous, let's shut this down" because that's kinda where I am mentally.

We had a few hours in the hospital last week.

We had a few hours of real contractions going on.

We got pedicures.

But we've gotten those babies to stay in!

I've decided it would be most comfortable to have a heating pad on my back and an ice pack on my belly at all times. Those two combos would feel great.

We had to turn the heater on the other night to keep Maxson and his room warm enough. In our room we had the fan blowing straight on me all night, the heating vent closed as much as possible, Casey huddled under the large comforter and myself sleeping without even the sheets atop me. Seriously I'm always HOTT.

Bed rest has begun. I can tell how it's actually already helped my body surprisingly. My body isn't physically as tired each night, my back doesn't KILL, I have less contractions, bed rest works my friends.

You guys, this picture is ridiculous. I remember feeling SO LARGE and uncomfortable in this first picture while pregnant with Maxson. I look at that belly and think "Holy crap, I was so small!!!" ha what a difference!

and a funny picture of Maxson :)

In Denial

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO,

We had a doctor's appt on Thursday. Did the ultrasound first and everything looked great. Baby A was head down and Baby B was slightly transverse but easily favorable to become head down. Everything looked great on me and them. The doctor (not my normal Dr, she's out of town) came in and we chatted about delivery and options and things to watch out for all was well. Since I did actually call her Tuesday night (I was consistently having painful contractions for 2 hours about 6 minutes apart, it seemed kinda real at the time- we waited it out and they went away) she checked to see if/how far I was dilated. I was/am at a 3. So she was just sure I'd come into the hospital that weekend while she was on call ha. I reassured her I wouldn't and would be keeping these babies in a tad longer.

The sonographer and doctor left and the nurse came into do my blood pressure. She didn't say anything and began walking out of the room after taking my blood pressure. I immediately asked her what it was (I do that to every nurse because no on tells me what it is themselves and that was the reason they induced me with Maxson) she said some crazy high number like 150/90 something in those number ranges I believe (140/90 is the cut off for "healthy")

I was stunned.

WHAT?

No.

Last week was 110/60 or 70 something. Why in the heck would it just spike. I was sure she needed to check it again.

She didn't (she's not my favorite nurse). I laid down and a couple minutes later the doctor came in to double check it. It was a tad lower but still high. So she said off to the hospital you go to get monitored. She said often times the blood pressure goes down and people get to go home and I was right along side her saying heck ya I'm gonna go home, there's no way I'm having these babies already!

Thinking about it now I did begin swelling up a little/retaining water around Tuesday so I shouldn't have been surprised my blood pressure was…but I still was.

So to the hospital we went. Casey had to cancel his afternoon dental patient (it would be his first root canal! darn, ha). My lovely friends bounced Maxson around between them. And for the next 4 or so hours we hung out in the hospital. They did blood samples (all came back perfectly normal), urine sample (A-OK) and blood pressure checks every 15 minutes. Those hospital grade blood pressure monitors are of the DEVIL. They squeeze the living daylights out of your arm and I literally feel like I am getting my arm cut off!!!!! I think that thing makes my blood pressure higher, I did have to take my ring off that hand.

Casey was beginning to mentally except that we could be having the babies today/tomorrow. But I just kept thinking and saying "No. There is no way we're having them today. It's too early. My doctor is not here. I am not going to have them today. We are going home." I was so surprised he was ok with having them already, ha. On the other hand I think it was just a couple days prior that I said out loud to Casey "I think it would be easier to have them out now and not be pregnant and deal with the NICU than continue like this" but now that I was actually in the situation of it maybe  happening I was like HECK NO!!!!!!!!

Well we were lucky enough to have one of the absolute coolest nurses around. Jaime. We absolutely loved her guts, she was funny and easy going and straight forward and a teensy bit sarcastic. We were just so happy to have her. She assured me she'd get my blood pressure down so I could go home. And she was right!

After a few hours of monitoring and a second opinion from the perinatal specialist, I was released to go home. My blood pressure never went back down to "normal" it kinda stayed in the higher range but it was right there under the cut off so I was good to go!

I was so so so very happy.

So I've been sent home on modified bed rest meaning I can still function and do things as needed (bathroom/food) but if at all possible stay sitting and lay low. I also interpret that as if there's book club, a baby shower etc to go to I can do that since I'll be sitting the whole time anyways, ha.

I just want to make it a little longer, I want to get past the NICU and have them come out as big and healthy as possible (they were measuring around 5#11oz and 5#12oz on Thursday, good boys! [I also can't believe there's almost 12 pounds of baby inside me already, ha]) and come home with me and stay in our hospital room and have a good beginning nursing experience. All hopes, I know, but I am definitely hoping badly for all good things with these twins.

Pictures of the days activity (ya know, in case it really WAS the day)

a. A very unflattering phone picture of my belly size

b. Anti-climatically waiting for the nurse to come take us to our room. It took forever

 a. Casey left for awhile to go visit Maxson and get my hospital bag and I was so borrrrrrred

b. Casey and Maxson's lunch at home

 Maxson wasn't going down for a nap so Casey brought him to come visit because we thought we were going home soon (I don't think I actually went home for at least another hour or more). The 30 minutes Maxson hung out with me was fun and at the same time exhausting on Casey's end because Max wanted to touch EVERYTHING. SO they went home pretty soon after arriving where Max fell asleep in the car. And then as soon as Casey put him down they said they were discharging me and Casey had to immediately come back.

 View from our room. Fall is here in Lincoln and so beautiful.

 Once home this was how I began my bed rest. Pushing Maxson on the swing while I sat in my chair. 

Friends have been so incredible in response to my bed rest, I am completely humbled by their generosity. Offering to bring in meals, come help with Maxson, help clean. They've just been so great. The past few weeks people have been offering to help with Maxson but I've kind of turned it down knowing there might be a chance in the near future I'd truly need their help because of early delivery of the babies or bed rest. So now that I truly need their help I'm so incredibly grateful for it. How lucky I am to be blessed with wonderful friends and neighbors (and a child who willing and excitedly goes to anyone's house).

Of course I'd like to make it as long as possible with these babies in, 37 weeks would be ideal since that's "full term" of a singleton baby but just 36 would be great (which is Wednesday), and beyond that I'd just really like my doctor there which is Monday. We shall see what happens!!!!!!

Pregnancy is getting…harder.

So here I am, THIRTY FOUR WEEKS! As I've said before, every week is a huge accomplishment and I'm so happy to have made it this far! Nothing new really, both boys were head down at my doctor's appt this week, yay!Hopefully they stay that way, but there's still a huge pocket of fluid in there that gives them lots of space to move around in aka flip directions in, boo. My doctor is out of town until the 20th, so let's cross our fingers they don't come while she's gone!

Here's baby A, we got some really great views of his face during the ultrasound this week, haven't seen either of their faces in a long time so it was really fun. He kept sticking his tongue in and out trying to lick and suck on his fist, so cute! I can't believe how much they can do in there! Also, Casey and I both agreed his lips look really big, we shall see if that's the case in person! So here he is with his tongue sticking out. Also that line to the right of his face is the sac that separates him and Baby B

Some days are easier than others, I try to sit a lot. But just because I try doesn't  mean it necessarily happens, the show must go on. Maxson needs to be cared for, food needs to be made, the house needs to be cleaned. I can't just stop (even though making it stop would definitely make this pregnancy easier, ha). I'm just chugging. Here's 34 weeks!

Here was a post I was going to post last week for 33 weeks but never got around to it, ha. This was definitely one of my not as good days… I laugh while reading how pathetic I sound but also know it's the cold hard truth and days like this will (sadly) still pop up over the next month.

***

33 weeks.
I am the point where I want to be physically and emotionally done (most of the time.)

It's so hard to get up from any position, sitting, laying, leaning, whatever it is, it's really hard.

My legs are starting to feel like little sausages when they're bent. I still am sitting on the ground a lot if it's (trying) to play with Maxson, picking up toys, organizing something in my house, working on some last minute to-do craft project, taking a bath, etc. It' just getting really uncomfortable and too tight when I'm bent, plus there's no room for belly when I'm down there.

My back kills. My back brace is only kind of working, it usually just always hurts.

Sleeping has begun to get awful. Switching sides in the middle of the night is like rolling over with 50 pounds of dead weight hanging off your belly, I dread it. You guys, it's hard. I get up 2-3 times a night to go to the bathroom. Any position borderline hurts and I barely get any sleep it feels like so therefore I'm tired all day long. Part of me wants to sleep on the couch because I would then have a back support and I could use a pillow for my front support but the thought of sleeping on a couch sounds like it would hurt more and then I wouldn't be sleeping by Casey which would make me sad.

Some people look at me and say "I just don't know how you can stretch anymore." Sometimes I agree with that, and other times I'm like "I can get way bigger are you kidding me." But then again, I know that getting bigger is just going to hurt more :(

Housework is overwhelming. My house gets messy SO fast for so many reasons but I can't keep up with the mess as it comes. So it gets really bad and then I somehow find energy to clean it or a portion of it up which literally gets me out of breath. I sit down and can't do anything for the next hour it seems like and within that hour it all returns. Messiness isn't so bad but dirtiness must be dealt with: floors dishes, spills. It just kills me. Casey has really stepped into help a ton but since he also has to help way more with Maxson and has lots of studying to do, it's all really taking a toll on him too.

I am getting so slow. It makes me sad that I can't play with Max the way I used to, or push him on his bike, or run after and play with him. I just don't feel like my body right now and I waddle so slowly after Max unable to catch him. I'm just ready to be "young" again.

To be completely honest (and probably totally childish)  I'll look at Casey in an extreme moment of pain with tears beginning to well up and say "Casey, being pregnant is just getting so hard, I don't know how much longer I can do this"

I'm just huge.

I'm achy/in pain most of the time.

I'm grateful I am still pregnant with these twins.

I'm grateful I'm pregnant with twins at all.

I'd rather be pregnant and still achy like this than have them in the NICU but that doesn't physically make it easier.

Mentally I'm wearing down.

I'm hoping these next 4 1/2 weeks go by in a flurry.

I'm at the point where I think it will be easier to take care of two more babies outside my body with Maxson around than to continue like this.

Send good thoughts my way.

***

Ha, see like I said, a little pathetic sounding, but really it's the truth. Here's to 3 1/2 weeks left!!!!!!

Here's some silly pictures I've asked Casey to take recently to remind me of how difficult things have been. Doing dishes is hard because my belly doesn't allow me to get close to the sink so I either have to hunch over and work or turn sideways and work, neither are comfortable. Also, I SQUISH Maxson in the rocking chair when reading him books and singing songs before naps/bedtime. Sometimes he says "owie" if he's too squished, ha. (ps-that is not my belly hanging out, it is a stretchy wrap I wear under shirts because NOT A SINGLE SHIRT will cover my belly these days. Cue tears. Also my legs look huge in this picture, I don't think they normally look like that…this could have been a more strenuous day of too much activity, who knows…)

31/32 weeks

Every week I'm still pregnant it's like a triumph to me. Sounds silly but it's true. There are so many reasons that twins come early that are totally out of your control. It's just so strenuous on your body and there's nothing you can do about it. So good job body I'm so very proud of you!

I look at some of these pictures and think "Man, I'm really that big? I don't feel that big. Dang, my belly really is huge!"

So 32 weeks is technically on Wednesday, today, these pictures were taken at 31 weeks 3 days. And then we went to the doctor at 31 weeks 5 days, so this is really a 31/32 weeks post.

I swear every person I meet asks the same question "How are you feeling?" Strangers, friends, family, EVERYONE. I know it's all in good intentions, really people are just being kind and wondering how's pregnancy going, but oh man I'm tired of that question. Ha, everyday and week is different though. Casey is the only one who probably doesn't care "How I'm feeling" and surely never asks me because I voluntarily tell him everyday how's it going and he just knows from the activities that I say I'm willing/not willing to do, my complaints, just everything. Poor man, he's seriously been SUCH a trooper this pregnancy really stepping up to help out/do SO many more things because I physically can't sometimes. Oh how I love and appreciate him.

I'm still amazed by all the comments of "Oh you must be so uncomfortable/ you look so uncomfortable" Really, people? No I'm fine, people. Again, I know people are just trying to empathize with me and be kind but...

We had a growth scan this week and the boys were somewhere around 4# 6 oz and 4# 2 oz, which is AWESOME! I can't believe how big they're measuring at this point already it's actually so totally awesome and I'm way proud of them for growing so well. The doctors ideally want less than a 10% difference between their weights, you know, so they are growing equally/proportionately and that one isn't getting more nutrients than the other, they're at 5% which is great. They were both head down at this appt, face down too. I'm totally cool with not getting fun ultrasound pictures of their faces because Max was always face up, looking straight up at us and he came out that way too! So if they're always looking down hopefully that's a good foreteller!

My blood pressure is still wonderful amazingly enough, no swelling, not really any stretch marks thanks to either this being a second pregnancy or that I'm actually using shea butter lotion stuff religiously everyday, that might not be the case in the next few weeks, who cares. All my the weight of gained literally feels like it's right in front of me hanging on my belly, my back is taking a beating for it. I wear a pregnancy support belt that actually helps A TON. It's relieved so much pain.

Casey and I both agree that we're finally at the point where we're really excited for them to come, it's going to be here in less than 6 weeks! At the same time, we're still a little overwhelmed at how hard it may be with 2 babies at one time, but we're gearing ourselves up for the worst, ha.

We reorganized our master room layout yesterday to accommodate the babies once they come. Little steps like this is sure making it seem real! We have lots of different scenarios of what we'll do for sleeping arrangements for when they get here, all involve a white noise machine in each room, ha, got to drown everyone out!

I went through all the baby clothes I have from newborn-about 6 months last week. I really have no idea what I'm going to do clothing wise ha, should I buy more? Should I tough it out and make what I have work? So many decisions! Hope these little boys are good to me!

I had a goal to pack my hospital bag at 30 weeks, well 2 weeks later it's still on the list. I actually did something about it yesterday though and made a little list of what I might need to pack. I remember thinking last time that I should write down what I actually used from my hospital bag because I felt like I used NONE of it, ha. Anyone else feel that way? So hopefully I can get it packed this week without too many unnecessary things I won't use (like last time!)

Happy 32 weeks to me, these 2 babies, Casey, and Maxson!

29 weeks pregnant with twins

I'm 29 weeks pregnant and definitely feel like I could be 38/40 weeks pregnant. Apparently MANY people I run into agree with me ha. You wouldn't believe how many comments in the last week I've gotten of the following:

When are you due?
Not until November 5th, but I'm having twins!
(Shock) Twins? Well yes I was guessing that.
You must be so uncomfortable/you look so uncomfortable.
I bet you are so ready to be done.
Two more boys, your hands are going to be so full!

Blah, I'm already done with those comments and I'm not even into the 30 week area yet, ha.

On the there hand, I do GREATLY appreciate those strangers that come up to me and say "You look so cute!" I want to squeeze those people as tight as I can with a beaming smile and tears in my eyes and say "thank you, thank you!" But instead I shyly say "Oh well thank you, you're so sweet, but I actually have a long ways to go since I'm having twins" (while I keep my distance mind you) and then if they're super spectacular people they'll say "You look so good for having twins." Those people are zeeee best!

At our doctor's appointment last week at 28 weeks we had a growth scan. The boys are doing spectacular. They weigh about 2#11oz and 2#9oz. Good job boys for staying the same size, that's muy importante with you two! My blood pressure was miraculously low (probably because I was lying down for my 30 min ultrasound and then they took it. I passed my glucose test with flying colors. It was just so great for Casey and I to see those boys wiggling all around, it felt like it had been so long since we had. It's crazy when they do ultrasounds you just see a bunch of circles at first (multiple elbows, hands, feet, heads, bellies, knees) it's just a jumbled mess. They were both head down at the 28 week appt. It was just such a great appointment. Every week I continue being pregnant I am just so grateful and overjoyed. Preterm labor signs are scary and I whole heartedly do not enjoy them…

But Friday I woke up with some strange symptoms I hadn't had before and a very sore belly in general. We went in later that day for a quick appointment just to make sure all was still alright. My doctor concluded I'm just getting bigger and heavier and stretching more, it's just kind of the way it is and it's ok, just take it easy when I could. Glad I had that reassurance. The boys were both breech 10 days after that last appointment ha

I was complaining to my doctor that I just feel tired and at a loss of energy a lot and wondering if I was missing a nutrient somewhere. She replied "Nope, your hemoglobin levels came back fantastic. You're just literally growing 2 full babies in there, that is a lot of work! Your body is just working really hard!" I appreciated her answer and at the same time wished there was a nutrient I was missing so that I could have a new burst of energy.

Speaking of nutrients, remember how much I love milk? Well I think my milk intake increases while I'm pregnant because I drink so much at every meal ha. These babies are gonna love milk in all forms!

I also had a dream the other night about the twins. The main part I remember was that they were EXCELLENT at nursing. Hoping that dream was a little insight to my future because that dream was so comforting.

My belly literally feels like a watermelon. The other day I had 2 watermelon in my grocery cart and a lady told me I looked as ripe as those watermelons, ha. Funny thing is when I was picking out those watermelons I thought "I think I am bigger than these…" Whenever Max sees me putting the lotion on my belly he takes some, lifts his shirt up and follows suit. I probably seem very lazy to my family and friends and Casey but I just can't do it all anymore. I am fully aware, grateful, and ok with my friends helping chase after Maxson when I cannot, they are the best.

Sitting down and getting up seems like so much effort.

I have been wearing a belly/back support and it's been making a WORLD of difference! My back is no longer in pain, just tired from all the weight, but the no more pain part is WONDERFUL!

Have I mentioned how I have the fan blow directly on my at night? No covers. And it feels great. Casey on the other hand is freezing under the covers, ha. My 2 personal heaters are working overtime. Sleeping is getting rather uncomfortable though...

It is fun to be pregnant, it's such a special feeling. So much movement inside your belly all the time, kicks, punches, bulges, arching backs, roundhouse kicks, hiccups, etc. Just lots and lots of moving. When I look at my profile in the mirror I'm just amazed at what my body is doing. It is stretching so much to accommodate these growing babies. Organs inside are moving out of the way to make space. My body is feeding these babies and helping them grow! What a miraculous gift I have been given as a woman from our Father in Heaven. I have been entrusted to grow and care for these 2 babies. The gift of creation is such a powerful one, I feel very inadequate once I truly begin thinking about it.

BTW there are apparently 2 humans the size of butternut squash inside me…these squash were huge...

27 weeks with twins

Holy moly has this pregnancy been different. So different all around from what it was like with Maxson. At 27 weeks I'm feeling rather large, more like I'm 36 weeks pregnant and just have a little longer to go, but that is not the case (stay in there babies!). My lower back hurts so much, it's a constant thing, last night I told Casey I need to stop using "my back hurts" as an excuse not to do things because I could literally use that as an excuse for everything. I just need to suck it up for the next couple months. and realize my back is going to hurt for the next little while. I am carrying 25 lbs of babies and stuff right there in the front of me, I don't think the weight is anywhere else in my body.

I have not swollen up anywhere yet, (except that big old belly of mine of course) a big hallelujah there. Pregnant life is so much easier when your ankles, legs, hands and fingers haven't grown in size.

The babies kick like crazy. It's a mad house in there at times I swear (and of course anytime someone wants to feel the babies move they stop right away). With Max I can only remember "kicks" and "pushes" really. With the twins it's more like rolls of arms and legs and big jumble crazy movement; kinda cool how different it is. Lately they've been active right when I'm laying down to go to sleep, makes falling asleep rather awkward and impossible.

I have definitely slowed down immensely over the past couple of weeks. I am drained after chasing Maxson around for just a little bit, I feel bad for constantly asking Casey to do x and y for Max but I just can't keep up with him. I'm a slow mover now days (and Max just keeps getting faster I swear). Picking him up is getting harder and harder and I try to do it as little as I can. He still begs at my feet/legs sometimes to pick him up and all I can see are his little eyes sticking out behind my large belly.   I am NOT looking forward to having Casey go back to school just knowing I'll have to wrangle Maxson myself, I'm literally dreading it.

Clothes are beginning to have less options. Even though I could probably still fit into a bunch of them, I'd rather be comfortable in loose clothes (like Casey's shirts). Some maternity shirts that used to have tons of room to grow when I first saw them, now end at the bottom of my tummy and are border lining too short, it's stupid ha. Maxi dresses are definitely still a huge win though, love those puppies (and I can foresee those to be the only things that I can legitimately wear in public the further along I get)

I have a growth scan next week to see their progress, very excited for that. Back at 24 weeks we had one and they were approximately weighing 1 lb 9 oz and 1 lb 8 oz. We're hoping and praying everyday for them to grow at the same rate!

Breathing is hard at times. Sometimes I just can't get DEEP breaths and that makes it so very uncomfortable.

Food is great. I eat a lot. I'm kinda self-conscious when I eat around other people because I'm seriously packing in a TON of food. Probably as much as Casey if not more than at each meal. I am no stranger to getting seconds and thirds at each meal. On the flip side if the babies are in a certain positions (I'm guessing) and I eat too much food it just hurts and is so dang uncomfortable, almost sickening. And I just have to lie down for a long time in hopes that it goes away soon.

I get LOTS of braxton hicks when doing too much activity, mostly walking too much. Casey has been a great supporter of limiting and supporting my minimal walking because we've had a few scares where it seemed like the contractions weren't going to stop. I want to do all I can to keep these babies in and I think borderline bed rest is my best bet right now.

24 weeks

25 weeks

26 weeks

Also I must add that it seemed SO MUCH harder to be pregnant in Arizona than it was in Nebraska. The humidity is awful, truly. But pregnancy wise, that high heat just DRAINS you. I was so unbelievably tired after just a little time in the sun. I hope I am never huge pregnant in the Arizona summer again.

the difference 5 days makes

you guys, i kid you not, the difference in these pictures is FIVE DAYS.

FIVE DAYS!

#growinglikeaweed (or watermelon)

the first pics were taken on tuesday and the second ones on sunday.
holy moly that's growth!

22 weeks

2 of everything

i feel like i'm beginning to accumulate 2 of everything in my life because of these twins. wow twins are way more expensive than a single child. i mentioned this to a mom the other day who has twins boys and then 1 younger boy, and she totally disagreed. i was mainly referring to clothes, so she said just do laundry twice as often, but that is not the case. so here is my list of everything that i will need twice the amount of the same size because it's twins:

winter coats.
winter boots.
tennis shoes.
church shoes.
shoes in general really (snow boots, rain boots, sandals, water shoes, etc)
swimsuits.
swim diapers.
church clothes (especially white shirts).
sports gear.
winter hats.
winter gloves.
snow pants.
fleece lined pants (maxson wore that 1 pair like all of winter).

and other items in life you must have 2 of:
carseats.
cribs.
pack-n-plays (because we're a traveling type of people)
high chairs.
sports gear yet again.
skis/snowboards.
baby carriers (ergo/bjorn etc)

and the list goes on. there's plenty more stuff i'm missing that twin moms end up buying 2 of because they twins and i will deal with that when i come to it, but for now, yes twins are much more expensive. ooy...

24 years old and 21 weeks a long

my 24th birthday came along quietly. quietly yet happily. i spent the day being the momma to my sweet little boy, and cheering on casey in his schooling. maxson did  give me a birthday present of sleeping in until 9 am, that was great. we went to story time at the library and we took long naps. once casey got home from school we went to this new spanish restaurant i've been wanting to try, sebastian's table (it's from the same creators of my favorite burger place in town, honest abe's). it was much different than we expected. more of a fancy, sit down, hipster type of place. the food was way delicious though. everything was served in the style of appetizers and you ate it all as a group. the dessert was incredible, churro like dough balls with pear filling inside.

afterward we took a quick trip to target to pick up  few birthday presents for me (few times in my life i can buy things at full price and not feel bad about it, this birthday was one of those).

once home we were outside blowing bubbles with maxson when my dear friend, tasha, walked up with a delicious red velvet birthday cake for me, such a wonderful surprise! as they sang a roaring happy birthday to me, the wind blew out my candles :( let's hope that's not bad luck. 

the next day i entered into the 21 weeks gang. you guys, i seriously get so much bigger every week, it's crazy. we learned the twins share a placenta this week, that means they could either be identical or fraternal, we'll find out when they get here! lots of movement from these boys. i had a dentist appointment this week and after an hour i was done, i was literally about to pass out after lying back like that for so long, ooy, gave my dentist a little scare. saw the baby boys this week in the ultra sound at our appointment and one was kicking the other in the head, ha, they are wiggly!

still so crazy we're having two babies at the same time. i'm over the shock and news of course, it's just so surreal to me still, i NEVER in a million years thought i would have twins. what's even crazier is that they will be here in less than 17 weeks, doesn't that sound SOON??!!?? this pregnancy is just going way too fast. with maxson keeping me so busy, a long trip around the corner, and the wish of having more time before we add 2 more children to our family is going to make this all zoom by. before i know it, we'll be back from our trips and i'll be nearly 30 weeks, that's the last push my friends! ahhh!

19 (weeks) and counting

that's half way for me!

woot woot!

i know i'm already looking very pregnant to friends and strangers, but i don't feel huge yet, i think i thought i'd be bigger at this point. so i guess i should be happy with that, ha. sleeping is beginning to get uncomfortable. i'm switching sides lots of times during the night, my SIL let me borrow her pregnancy pillow (those c-shape ones, know what i'm talking about?) i'm definitely investing in one of those myself, those things are kinda amazing. i'm sporting the baby (babies) bump pretty dang obvious these days and i'm starting to eat a lot more food than i used to. i remember i felt maxson kick (from the outside) at 19 weeks exactly. at 19.5 weeks i felt the first kicks with these boys! it was such an exciting day! funny thing is, during ultra sounds, baby B(my left baby) is always the SUPER wiggly one, that boys never stops moving. baby A (on my right) moves, but not nearly as much. well it felt like it was the baby on the right, baby A that i could feel the kick from! funny huh? we had the anatomy scan at 18.5 weeks with them with a high risk doctor and everything looks great. they couldn't tell if it was one placenta or two, and were going to look closer at that. i sure hope it's 2! she said we may not be able to tell just because it's already getting pretty squished in there, but we could see the membrane separating them. i'm beginning to feel a lot less room when i bend over to get something, not looking forward too much to not being able to bend over much especially with all of the messes maxson makes on the floor, ha.

we found a video last week of me pregnant with maxson at 39 weeks and OH MY GOSH. I WAS HUGE. seriously you guys, so big. my nose was swollen, my whole face, my belly was ginormous, the bigness just never ended anywhere. we talked about baby names and oddly enough, maxson was the last name we mentioned. we weren't sure if it was maxwell or maxson on our baby name list we liked. i complained about being 39 weeks : "i'm so tired, my fingers are swollen and numb, my back hurts, it's so hard to sleep, casey is so nice and massages my swollen ankles, i feel fat, i just want to be done being pregnant" etc. oh poor pregnant full term kimber, i really was miserable there at the end, ha. i hope i don't swell as much this time :( i just don't grow gracefully as a pregnant woman i've decided.

pregnancy this second time around is definitely going faster, hopefully that will prove to be the case at the end too, maxson just keeps me so busy and occupied and can't only focus on being pregnant now. it is such a fun thing to be pregnant though, i rather enjoy this amazing thing my body does. it's so crazy to think i'm growing TWO LITTLE HUMANS IN MY BODY right now! it truly is  miracle of life!

17 week update

17 weeks

17 weeks = size of avocados
(funny thing, those lemons from last week were way bigger than these avocados, eh you get the point;)

yesterday i was officially 18 weeks but we'll get there.
weeks 15, 16, and 17 were all about the same.

it seemed like i had a doctors appointment nearly every week for different reasons so i've been seeing those babies a lot. they are super wiggly in there nearly always which is a great sign. at 16 weeks we found out we were having BOYS which was so very exciting. it was just the other day that it registered in my mind that i will have THREE BOYS all crazy close in age. oh man our house will be crazy. i hope they are the best of friends. those 3 will be in high school at the same time for 2 years together, i hope that's a great experience for them. oh man, boys, lots and lots of sports i foresee in my future…

but back to this pregnancy, i don't know if i mentioned it but that first trimester you could "say" i had a craving of chicken noodle soup, that stuff always sounded good, although i rarely got to have it. this second trimester i'm back to normal eating habits, i don't feel yucky if i din't eat often enough and can eat anything. i do feel like i'm starting to eat bigger portions. sleeping is just beginning to get a little less comfortable. i've welcomed in "maternity" clothes already because holy heck people, they are just so much more comfortable! why do women see how long they can go without it? i'm not really sure but i am pro comfy clothes and not squeezing into tight clothing at this stage already.

although i'm getting much bigger much faster already, i oddly have gained barely any weight which i think is really strange, how does this belly area not weigh more? i completely understand why. maxson. that kid keeps me so active, sometimes it feels like there's no down time ever. i imagine i'll end with the equal amount if not less weight with this twin pregnancy than i did with maxson's.

the great thing about pregnancy this time around is that since i'm having twins, i'm supposed to be getting bigger much quicker so i don't feel a lick of the need to compare my size to others at this week or that week. i'm just happy. i wish we as all women didn't have the need to compare their sizes, especially when pregnant. you're growing a human being in your body for goodness sake (in my case TWO human beings)!! you're not supposed to be little. all bodies are different and that means pregnancy will be different on everyone so stop comparing and just enjoy the time.

ok, now that i'm off my rameumptum, pregnancy has been so great so far. i love these little flutters inside that i can feel and i can't wait to feel some bigger kicks in just a couple weeks!

boys, girls, or both?

BOYS!

adding 2 more boys to the family!
maxson was just happy he sneaked like 5 million cookies all night

post to come about the gender reveal party

babies racing through my mind

here is another post written 4 days after finding out we're having twins.

**this turned into a word vomit, my apologies**

the thought of twins is still consuming my mind. we are on day 4 of having heard this news and it's still surreal. i bring the ultrasound pictures with me everywhere, like even to bed at night people. i'm constantly having to remind myself it's real and i just want to keep looking at the TWO babies in there, TWOOOOOO!!!! that is so wild!

our talk constantly consists of "well when the twins get here" "what about the twins" "how will that work with twins" it's always "the twins." is that the best way to refer to them? do you think they'd be preferred to be called "the babies" or "both babies" instead of "the twins?" i don't really know. it's just crazy we're having TWO babies!

here's all the stuff that is constantly running through my mind

- are we going to fit in our house anymore?
- i think we need a new car. (hello mini van!)
- what stroller are we going to buy? a double? a triple? a jogger? all those options cost a butt load
- will maxson have to wear a leash because i'll be too exhausted to let him run and legitimately chase him? i never wanted to put a kid on a leash!
- how do you breastfeed TWO babies at the same time?
- i'm positive i won't get a full night's sleep until they're 2 years old.
- i will be 24 with 3 kids UNDER the age of 2, not even 2, UNDER 2. i was never planning to be that mom.
- learning that you're expecting twins is like learning you're pregnant when you had no intentions to become so "what?! i'm pregnant/having twins? how did that happen? what will we do? our worlds are going to turn upside down!!"
- mine and casey's arms will NEVER be empty from once they're born until they're 2, one of us will always be wrangling 2 of our 3 wild things.
- the messes 1 toddler makes, multiplied by two? and maxson is still in the mix...
- oh my gosh the messes alone maxson will make while i'm nursing those babies. let's be real, it's totally easy to walk around while nursing 1 baby, not all that hard, 2 would be legitimately impossible.
- how will i ever go to the pool again once they're here? there's no way all 4 of us could be safe under just my watch.
- there's no way i could handle 2 more boys at the same time as maxson. that would be like three tornado-maxsons running rampant in my life? i think i will literally go crazy (you watch, of course i'm going to have twin boys now since i said it, ha)
- let's be honest, ideally my preferentials of the babies' genders are boy-girl, girl-girl, boy-boy. twin boys on top of maxson sounds SO HARD!!!!!!!
- where will everyone sleep in our small tiny house?
- will maxson get enough attention and love and cuddles with twin babies around?
- if these are twin boys OH MY GOSH they along with casey and max will eat so much food, how will i ever feed them all? it'll be like cooking for an army every night!
- i thought going to the temple now was hard having to ask someone to watch very active maxson, how will we ever go once the twins come?
- max is going to run through church like a wild thing and there will be practically nothing we can do to stop it since both our arms will be full of babies.
- my belly is going to be GINORMOUS! i was huge with max, let's be honest i don't grow gracefully when it comes to pregnancy, i'm going to look like 40 weeks with max at 28 weeks with twins.
- so many diaper changes those first 6 months. OH MY HECK.
- i won't get asked to do nearly as many things because "oh she has twins"… that could go for better or worse
- we're never going to fly again. and me alone is COMPLETELY out of the question. even if casey were to come too there would be 5 of us in 1 row! i think you'd have to have the parents in separate rows, have to
- when will i ever shower?
- i will literally never get a break because if i go somewhere i'll ask casey to watch the kids but probably take pity on him and take one baby
- i always ask people "what was the hardest transition 1 to 2 or 2 to 3 (or really 0 to 1 is huge)" i think my 1 to 3 may take the cake…
- i wish we were out of the "we're in school" stage when having twins so i could hire more teenagers to come over and watch all my babies to get my sanity back (and get a cleaning lady…)
- speaking of cleaning, my floor will be so nasty with 3 children around, so nasty…
- i think i'm going to force CONSTANT white noise on the twins while sleeping. they're going to have to pretty much always share a room with someone in some form or another and they're going to have to learn how to sleep through it
- there's join to be FIVE people in our family pictures now! poor maxson may never get held for them :(
- i'm going to get really buff trucking around 2 babies in each arm. if they are made out of any of the same genes max is, i've got two more mini tanks coming my way (i keep asking max when he's going to lose some weight, he doesn't seem to be listening)
- the first year is going to be stinking hard but after that, i think it's going to get much easier. i lie, one year olds almost seems like more work than x month olds…
- there will be THREE playmates in my house! i hope one doesn't get left out…
- i always knew casey was/is going to be the ultra fun dad around, and now with twins, that's been even more solidified in my mind.
- i'm so grateful he is a baby whisperer and has so much patience with babies, i seriously got SOO lucky with that mixed with this pregnancy
- i'm going to eat so much food over the next 6 months. ooy
- if this is 2 boys i'm going to have to send out 2 of my sweet boys on missions at the exact same time! and they'll overlap maxson's!
- if this is 2 girls i'm going to have to pay for 2 weddings at nearly the exact same time!!!!!!
- i heard casey say he kinda wants two boys so they can be the star basketball players on a team together, hahaha. but i think realistically he wants a boy and a girl too
- they will be wheeling TWO babies in and out of my hospital room, woah.

regardless of all my concerns and fears, i am beginning to be so thoroughly STOKED for twins! i think the initial fear, worry, and scare of twins has worn off. we've come to grow around the idea of twins and it's sinking in to what our idea of "our normal life" is, that's crazy. i really am so excited and thrilled at the thought of having twins. never in my wildest dreams did i imagine i'd be a mom of twins (actually the week before my dr. appointment i did have  dream i had twins! they were so little and for some reason i let my mom take care of them immediately while i went off to the romney family reunion, what kind of mother am i!?!?! she only fed them rice cereal!!!! once i realized what i had done i forced my mom to give them back to me when they were 2 days old and started breast feeding them as much as i could, ha. definitely a dream, not a vision)

everyone (for the most part) we've told has been so supportive of our news. mothers and grandmothers insisting them come for weeks at a time to help and more often after that, friends saying "if anyone can do it it's you and casey", and brothers saying "wow, i don't envy you" (those weren't supportive comments but that is what they all said, ha). i've also had a handful of people tell me they've heard of so many twins being born totally spontaneously to families that don't have twins in their family lately that they think it's heavenly father's way of sending down children as quickly as He needs to good families. and i believe that. the want of children in our culture has changed and that makes me so sad. it is so crazy fun to be a mom, SO crazy fun (and exhausting and difficult and trying) but oh man the joy you get from it, the love that child gives back to you is worth more than all the gold and treasure this earth has to offer.

i feel so blessed to be a mother on this earth at this time. i know it's going to be really hard with my kids when they're teenagers because of all the filth this world has to offer, but casey and i will fight our hardest on the front battle lines with these kids to defend our faith and beliefs and our family unit so we can return as a family to our heavenly father for all eternity. there is NOTHING that will stand in the way of our family goal.

so bring on the twins! bring on the babies! we are ready, and willing, and eager for the task!

2 girls?

one night while we were in utah, casey and i BOTH had dreams that we were having twin girls! how weird is that that it happened the same night? I've had dreams before of boy/girl and boy/boy but this was casey's first dream about having twins (i literally dream about it every night) and my first dream that it was 2 girls. ironic? we shall see! we'll find out in 2 weeks time what the gender are!

pregnancy thus far

oh boy has this pregnancy been different! we are so very ecstatic to be adding a little one to our family this year! here's a little sum up of the past few weeks:

4 weeks: we find out we're pregnant! i get up with (crying) maxson at the wee hours of 6:45 am, take a pregnant test and am just giddy with excitement. i'm so beyond happy with the results that i hug and squeeze, and kiss maxson all over and he becomes happy. casey is due to wake up at 7:15 so at 7:14 i go put my face close to his in bed and whisper "i'm pregnant" with a big smile on my face. he starts shaking his head no while a smile creeps onto his face while his eyes stay closed (amidst us is maxson crying, because i closed the bathroom door, ha). come to find out he was going to go to class an hour later that day, meaning he was finally going to get to sleep in, but my news would mean he'd be too excited to keep sleeping, thus that head shaking, ha. he too was thrilled. we were both very surprised it happened that month but it was very welcome nonetheless.

in a random family text my mom says to everyone "did you know byu is getting a new president?" casey  then follows with a "did you know we are getting a new baby?" our family was very happy and surprised.

5 weeks: feeling great, hung out in indiana with casey's siblings where we told them our news, they are such great exciting news receivers making you feel like a million bucks

6 weeks: BOOM. morning sickness. ugh. i wasn't sick one lick with maxson so i wasn't expecting this AT ALL. granted i know what i feel wasn't bad at all in comparison to what others feel. it truly was minor, the first hour or so after i woke up, and the last hour or so before i went to bed. i spent this week trying to figure out common causes and helpings. also my lack of blogging at the end of march was due to this plus the fact that during nap times i was sleeping the whole 2 hours too. i needed that nap.

7 weeks: hit and miss. i definitely understood the important of getting a lot of good sleep at night, that helped. i still randomly would feel yucky during different times of the day.

8 weeks: saltine crumbs cover our floor and couch nearly everyday. i eat those a lot, they help, a little, a little is better than none. definitely keeping up on eating food all day long helps but it's this viscous cycle of not feeling well, not wanting to eat, not having enough motivation to get up and make something nutritiously filling, therefor i just get a small snack like yogurt or a cheese stick, and since i didn't eat a lot, the yucky feeling comes back sooner, etc. it's this never ending cycle. the house is nearly always a wreck. it's so hard to find motivation to keep up on it with maxson, he's so busy!!!! but actually staying busy helps a lot, it takes my mind off the yucky feeling, so…

9 weeks: not so bad actually, i've felt a lot less yucky overall, just a few times in the evenings now. woohoo! it probably has helped that i've been quite busy with easter, get togethers, and being in arizona with my family. i get twinges of pain in my lower sides of my abdomen if i move in a wrong directions. i remember them from my last pregnancy too, not sure what they're from.

10 weeks: felt super awesome! i wonder if it was because i was in arizona most of it. nonetheless, i finally felt better. still not much energy to make food and want to eat all food but no sitting around. i already pee 1-2 times a night. bladder control is not my strong suit, ha.

11 weeks: TWINS!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!!! holy moly biggest shock of my entire life. i think finding out you're having twins is akin to finding out you're pregnant when you had NO plans of getting pregnant. you're not ready for it, there's so many more changes to life than the plan you had scripted out, it's just WILD! it constantly consumes my mind, i'm already losing sleep over it because i wake up in the middle of the night to pee and then that's all i can think about and can't go back to sleep! i toss and turn the rest of the night. oh man these babIES! also this week was when i had my first doctor's appointment and man we found out NEWS! the end of the week included lots of nights of not feeling so great :( evening sickness…

12 weeks: so so all week. we were in wyoming and my saintly mother in law cooked all the food for me and didn't make me lift a single finger when it came to dishes. my belly has popped out a little compared to last week. if i'm thoroughly distracted in the evenings my stomach never bothers me but that's not always the case, we shall see…

13 weeks: it's like a flip switched! i'm suddenly not tired and don't always need naps and my stomach uneasiness has disappeared, it's a miracle! anything and everything sounds just fine to eat. i don't have to constantly be eating to stop myself from feeling yucky, it's just WONDERFUL! goodbye first trimester, hello honeymoon second trimester!

14 weeks: during the first trimester food was hard. nothing sounded good usually (except chicken noodle soup) but i knew i had to eat something. the LAST thing i was willing to eat was mexican food. guess what was the first thing i made when i got home after our trips? tacos. ha. also hunks of meat sounded awful. again, that first week back i made us steaks. my belly has already begun sticking out quite a bit. not only do i have a disadvantage of not showing for awhile because this is my second pregnancy, but add on to that being a twin pregnancy and i'm goners. i'm appreciating all the comfortable nights of sleeping as much as i can right now, i know it won't be lasting very long!

14 weeks

the size of lemons

i just reached 15 weeks, so I'll post about that soon.
i can only imagine how large i will be getting with these babies, seriously i will be GINORMO

FAQ when having twins

how did you find out?
i went in to my doctor for my first appointment at 11 weeks. per usual, they do ultrasounds at every appointment no matter what, it's wonderful. so my doctor began the ultra sound starting with the black and white 2D one (the x-ray looking type). we saw the baby and i was just so happy to finally be meeting out baby! it was the first initial picture and it all makes it so real, it's a beautiful experience. she took some measurements, we listened to the heartbeat which was fabulous i was just so happy to see my baby in there with a beating heart. she then switched to the 4D ultrasound picture and we saw this:

i thought it was just a glitch in the technology that somehow it slowed and duplicated the picture since the 2 look the same and are facing the same way. i saw her lean forward, pause for the slightest second, switch back to the 2D and she started doing some fishing round my abdomen moving from one ball area to another after a couple of times she said "i can't believe i missed that (then switching back to the 4D) you're having twins!"

what was your initial reaction?
there's no denying it when you're there in the room looking at the ultra sound and two babies moving around on the screen. tears were immediate. tears of amazement and excitement, what an amazing blessing! but i was SUPER surprised and shocked and then overwhelmed at the thought and then "how in the world could this have possibly happened?" went through my mind. just so surprised. then when the doctor left the room i just left my hands on my face (like the home alone face) thinking about it all. during the rest of the appointment it was just a lot of shock. once the appointment was over was when the tears really started to come down mostly just tears of "oh my gosh, how are we going to do this?" and then the nurses walked in to get me to bring me to the nurses room to talk over regular pregnancy things, it was real hard to stop those tears because i thought i was going to have a little time to just let it all go, ha.

what was casey's initial reaction?
disbelief. i came home and just showed him the picture right away. he did not believe me "no. where did you get this? who's picture is this? this isn't yours right? no way. no way." and then that just continued for a few minutes until he came to accept it! he was just as stunned and surprised as i was.

what was your parents' reactions?
kinda the same as casey's. everyone super close to us didn't believe us at first when they saw the picture but then they kinda just have to. it's just something you totally wouldn't anticipate and not on your radar at all.

how did you tell your family?
we tried facetiming as many people as we could, firstly our family members. we told them oh hey, we went to the doctor today and wanted to show you a picture, that's when they pretended they were interested and said ok (an 11 week ultrasound is usually pretty ho-hum), once they were able to get a clear view of the picture most everyone gasped with a "is that twins/are there 2 babies/oh my gosh two/twins??" we loved everyone's reactions so much. that's been once of the best things these past few weeks: telling family and close friends the news in person, it's SOOO fun to see/get to hear their reactions!

do twins run in your family?
nope

were you on fertility drugs/IVF?
nope (you wouldn't believe how many not close people ask me this question for how much of a very personal question this is)

are you planning on breastfeeding them both?
crossing my fingers yes! i know it's going to take ALL my time it will feel like but you gotta have goals. if i need to supplement with formula here and there it will be just fine

are you going to move homes?
i don't know. i hope not, but then again 5 people in our little place???? ooy. the first 6 months won't be bad since they're so small and not mobile, it'll be that last year of dental school that could potentially break us, ha. but it might be worth it us to cram in that small place for a year because of the support system of friends on the street and the ease of being able to just walk out your front yard to hang out with friends instead of needing to pack 3 kids up in the car to go hang out with friends. i'm hoping we can make it work! (and then we'll super duper appreciate a bigger house when we get out of dental school)

are you scared?
not really. that first day of finding out i was super overwhelmed and a tad bit scared, but you just get used to the idea and you come to accept it! so nope, just more excited and maybe a tiny apprehensive about making it all work. having twins has completely become our new normal

do you have to get a c-section?
i don't have to. if the twins are in good positions to deliver vaginally then we're going to go for it. the thought of twins, breastfeeding, a BUSY 2 year old, and stairs all around and a c-section does slightly scare me.

we have a secret(s) to share!

wait a second, let's take a closer look...

indeed,
two babies! 
TWINS!

we're shocked, thrilled, nervous, overwhelmed, excited, apprehensive but most of all grateful for this monumentous surprise in our lives!

full term on november 5th :)

lots of blog posts coming this week all about our thoughts and questions we get asked, check back soon!