my 5 guys // Easton's newborn photos

Last night I went to bed after the rest of the crew. Snow softly falling outside, piling up everywhere it could reach. A foot plus with no sign of stopping.

The house was completely dark and quiet and peaceful.

I was just sitting in bed nursing my sweet new baby.

How I love this new sweet baby so much. I fall head over heels with my babies and I forget every time. They are absolute heaven. I want to hold and cuddle and kiss him all day long. How I long to hold him again after putting them down to go to work on the house. It has been incredibly non stressful with baby number 4, I know what I'm doing and have an idea what to expect of various aspects so this time I can just purely enjoy this sweet bundle of joy, because that's truly what he is. He has brought so much love into our family these past few weeks. There were so many times I completely broke down with gargantuan tears the weeks and months before his birth questioning Heavenly Father how I could possibly handle another child when I'm barely keeping the 3 I have and myself alive through the day, why was He sending another?! And now I can see we were missing a piece of love and patience and bonding in our puzzle and Easton has brought that piece to all the members of our family. I love love love this little baby Easton like crazy.

Knowing my husband lay right next to me, happily asleep. He works so hard for our family. Stresses over keeping our family safe, well, cared for. SO often thinking of us before himself. He's a shining example of selfless so much of the time and has no clue. I just cry when I think about how lucky I am to have him. That he chose me. That my favorite person in this whole world also thinks I'm his favorite person. I don't know what I would do without him. He's my rock and my world.

Just across the hall lay my 3 sweet sleeping boys. Max and my other babies. We still call the the twins the babies, we just can't quite quit the habit. Those twins of mine make me want to cry in frustration and cry of sheer joy and love and cuteness at so many moment of the day. They are at such a tender age, so innocent, so loving, so mischievous. They bring me so much joy, I can't believe we have survived twins this far. They have been so hard at times and so much fun. They love me like I am their whole world. They have been so sweet to our new baby, they are such good boys, I hope I can be a good mom for them.

And then sweet Max in his own room next to theirs. He's such a good big brother. He's been so good to the twins, they play together, he guides them, helps them, looks out for them (and hits pushes them way too much). He can be so sensitive to the feelings of others (and so completely oblivious at times). He constantly is wanting to hold and love Easton, looking out for him when he cries, talking to him, telling me he wants to hold his "choot baby." I hope I am giving him my adequate time and attention to help him learn and grow. I can't believe how fast he's growing, slipping away from my nest with the slow pull of school beginning. He brings me so much joy, he is my first baby after all and will forever be my baby.

I have been so blessed with the most wonderful family. They are not perfect, like, at all, but, they are perfect for me. Shaping me into the woman I need to be more. Helping me forget about myself to serve others, serve like all the day long, ha, but I love them and would do anything for these 5 boys. They are my world, and to the 4 little boys Casey and myself are their world. I want to be kinder, more loving, more patient, more intentional. I want to be my best for them and savor up these days when they are completely mine with little to no outside distractions.

(The big) Cutler family pictures

Since everyone was there we took some family pictures before church on Sunday! It is quite convenient being a photographer and we can choose the exact time (15 minutes after the original time we hoped for!) and location (right outside the front door in the street!). It's funny we never say what colors we're all wearing but it works out enough!

From left to right it's Tayli, Derek, Kerri's family, Brad and Nan, Karle, Cody's family, Casey's family.

Pre pictures= crying children.

It was SOOOOOOOOOOO cold outside! The kids were NOT having for the grandkid picture, haha, this is pretty much the best we have, no joke

The Cutler family.

Love me some Cutlers!

Cutler family pictures 2015 FOR THE WIN

Remember my account at failed family pictures? Well we went back at it again much more prepared with a tripod, a Katie who entertained the kids like a magician for smiles, mini M&M's in my pocket for smiles and cooperation from Maxson (worked like a freaking charm), and a promise to Casey for an ice cream reward for having to do this twice. PICTURES WENT SO MUCH SMOOTHER.

Some of these are from the first evening of photos, a majority of them are from our second time.

Woo! So glad I have this stage of our lives documented in some great pictures! Thank you Katie and my mom!

Tomorrow: pictures with our behind the camera magicians!

A photographer's family picture fail

So this year's family photos were an epic fail. Mistakes I made:

1. Not hiring someone or trading with someone. I was too lazy to hire someone because I prefer to trade and I couldn't find anyone to trade with that I felt comfortable trading with.

2. My camera was not charged. 15 minutes before our designated "start" time i realized this, frantically tried to charge it, borrowed a friend's camera that is a few versions lower than mine. This compounded the stress and then my camera died half way through anyways and I had to use the other camera which again, was not as good which led to blurrier photos

3. I had plans to use a tripod and remote  but was too flustered to set it up and hoped that the person taking the pics would do good enough. They did great (thanks mom!) but just not exactly the way I would have, which I knew which is why I wanted to use the tripod and remote and that would solve problems, BLAHHHHH

4. I had plans to have our friend, Katie, and my mom there. One to take the pictures and one to entertain the kids to get them to look and smile and laugh at/near the camera. Well I forgot to tell Katie we were doing pictures that night until RIGHT before we left her house and then she heard the wrong cross roads of where to meet on the phone and wasn't able to make it

5. Most families I photograph have maybe 1 uncooperative child. We had 3. End of story

Parent's looking, pretending to smile, too much open space between mom and dad, Max not looking and refusing to smile in all photos, babies not looking or if they do look then a very unpleasant face.

 Parents waiting/hoping/coaxing Max to come back once he got bored after 4 photos.

 Space fixed, but again, children. There's literally not possibly a way for me to photoshop faces into one picture to make it work. The kids were all that terrible. And cropping and boring lighting.

 Even when it was me behind the camera and Casey next to me entertaining them, children still were uncooperative. Max too physical, Bryson unhappy being hugged, and Quinn there fighting for his life.

Maybe we'll try again next week...or next year