The pumpkin patch

Yes, we joined the other 42 gajillion people on IG and Facebook and went to a pumpkin patch this weekend too! We trucked our way out to Roca's Berry Farm (akin to that of Cornbelly's Utahinians). It was the perfect brisk weather, (overpriced) pumpkins around us galore, cute little kid fall stuff, pig races, corn pits, corn maze, tractor rides, face cut outs, bounce houses, a bail/mountain of hay to climb in, and a scary section at night that we didn't go to. Once we got in the car both Casey and I were like "Oh my gosh, this is why we don't go that many 'fun' places with our little family very often, it's so much work and so tiring!" It was fun, but our kids are just exhausting, if you'd like to walk my shoes for a day I'd gladly allow you to rent them ;) onto pictures.

 They had about 4 different very large different kinds of slides that were really fun for one and all to do. Casey would go down once with Max, then I would go with him, and then Casey once more. I'm so happy we took the stroller in, we debated on wearing the babies in ergos but this worked so much better.

 The whole time  in the corn pit was spent trying to stop the babies from putting the corn kernels in their mouths

 gerbil race

 This slide on the right was so fun and FAST sitting on burlap sacks.

I am actually so glad we went. All our other years here we told ourselves we'd wait until our last year to go to a Halloween/pumpkin patch in the area once Max could actually enjoy it and enjoy it he did!

lone-momming it

My hat goes off to you single moms and military moms.

How do you do it?

How do you go day in and out of being a single mom over and over and over?

How are you not exhausted beyond your whit?

No team member to back you up everyday or give you a break. 

You are the end all say all everyday and it is exhausting.

I am on day 3 of 5 of Casey out of town and am just exhausted. And that's WITH a friend coming over each day after she gets out of dental school to help with the last few hours of the day AND a young woman in our ward coming over in the morning. Our friend's help in the evening is what has truly made me not a witch-like mother or super bratty wife, I will forever owe her.

Their help has been invaluable. But what I've learned is the most exhausting part is that there is still just me dealing with laying down the law, trying to teach this wild (and oh so much fun, right?) two year old how to be a civilized human in society. Teaching him his boundaries and acceptable behaviors day in and out is thoroughly exhausting. Maybe it's just my two year old. I feel like I definitely have the wildest one out of the whole group of friends that I literally cannot control so many times in public. It's humbling and frustrating all at the same time. 

I'm tired and headed to bed, what's new?

Also my children wake up at 6 am and it's KILLING me! KILLING me like a long slow death! I mean the babies are generally sleeping from 7 pm-6 am without waking up these days which I should be grateful for but can't they sleep just one more hour? I can't possibly get them to last until 8 pm in hoped for them to sleep until 7 am with the way they make their schedule work each day, it's killing me. ANd Max has just decided he needs less sleep now (WHY AND HOW?!?!?!? HE HAS SO MUCH STINKING ENERGY! HE NEEDS TO JOIN A RUNNING TEAM). He nay sleeps 12 hours a day total, so if I do 2 at a nap time (he would happily sleep 3!!! Wouldn't we all Max…) that means there's only 10 left at night, 8 pm-6 am, KILLING me. Any advice?

Love, your  friend who slowly dying from motherly exhaustion. Kisses

Even sicker day

**Written last Saturday**

OH. MY. GOSH.

Remember how Max had a fever and was sick? As awful as it sounds I will take Max sick over the babies being sick any day because he is so much easier to deal with when sick. The babies spiked fevers last night (friday night) and it was one of the longest nights ever. I kid you not. They awoke at 11:15 and I couldn't get them back settled until 12:30 am until Casey was home picking my mom up from the airport and I had more hands to get the poor kids off my chest. They were oh so hot even after their tylenol, they were so sad, and their noses so runny. Starting at 3:30 we were up every half hour with the babies for some reason or another. It is/was so sad. My poor sick little babies. They can't sleep for a very long and they can't stay awake for very long either. It was a long night and has been a long day thus far. I just want my babies to be happy again.

All day long they couldn't sleep or stay awake for more than 30-40 min at a time and they were so cranky and sad and congested, it was just the saddest thing ever and super exhausting as parents.

By the way I am sick too. Starting in the evening I started a yucky not feeling cough, then a headache, then achey joints, and then during the night I probably had a fever go on and off with getting chilly. At one point I was in sweat pants, thick socks, and a sweatshirt with the hood up and still freezing under the covers. I don't know what my poor little babies are/were feeling either which stunk. Were they hot? Were they cold? It just makes me so sad.

GO AWAY GERMS! LET US BE HEALTHY!

COME BACK SUMMER, I MISS YOU DEARLY!

But my wonderful mom is here now to help. How great is that? I was able to take a nap when all the kids were awake and my house isn't falling apart with all these sick kids and sick momma. How indebted I am to her.

**Written Tuesday**

We had 2 nights of very sick babies and those may have been the hardest nights we have thus experienced as parents. Imagine 1 sick baby: I don't know what your sick babies are like but maybe they wake up every couple of hours, you have to suck out their noses so they can breathe, it's sad, you may have to hold them more, etc. It's a hard night but doable, you get through it

Now imagine 2 sick babies in the same room and then a toddler in the next room that wakes up to all the crying. Going through the chain of events that night would take way too long but let me right a few bullet points.

(I'm going to call Quinn and Bryson one and two just for fun because it doesn't really matter which woke up when, actually I have no idea who was who all night it seemed like because they were both equally awful and sad)

-One wakes up to eat and then won't go back down easily for a good half hour+ because it's s hard to fall asleep with a stuffy nose and high temperature. A half hour after you get one down two wakes up to eat, you have to suck out his nose because he can't breathe causing him to cry very loud then waking up one then you tried so hard to get to sleep. You then play this dance every half hour with both: feeding them, sucking out noses and screaming causing the other to wake up, and then finally falling asleep in your arms only to wake up nearly immediately and bounce/cuddle the baby back to sleep.I kid you not be I was out of bed every half and hour and there was a 2 hour stint I didn't sleep even a blink.

-Max woke up I think 3 times beginning at 1:30 and pretended he'd go back to sleep but end up screaming and not going back to sleep. He ended up sleeping in our bed from about 2:30-5 (first time he's slept in our bed in a year I think, it was so weird!) After a couple hours he must have gotten woken up too much by the baby's crying and decided to wake up for good. That was not cool and not going to go on. After 15-20 minutes with him downstairs arguing that he needed to go back to bed and it was still night time while he yelled back that he wanted the iPad, I somehow bartered with him that I would give him strawberry milk and he'd go back to sleep. He (shockingly) immediately agreed and went back to sleep, so weird and so exhausting.

The rest of the night was a blur, I think the day started at 6:30 or something, so early, I'm pretty sure I got a MAXIMUM of 3 hours of sleep. So flipping exhausting, I felt so bad for my babies too though, they were probably feeling terrible. The rest of the day they could barely sleep 30-45 minutes at a time and were only able to stay awake for 30-45 minutes at a time (usually they stay awake 1.5 hours and sleep 45 min-3 hours). It was rough.

We took the babies to the doctor on Saturday to make sure there was nothing seriously wrong with them, they test them for RSV and nothing showed up, just really bad yucky virus I guess.

Their fevers broke after about 36 hours, it was so long. And now their sleep habits have turned for the worse with all that sickness. Rmemeber how they used to sleep a ton at night? Not anymore :( They're now up 4-5 times a night, insist on formula after being nursed, wake up to each other's cries and just are not good sleepers anymore! Ugh, please change for the better babies! I told Casey that even though they were/are crappy day time sleepers, at least they slept fabulous at night. WEll the their redeeming quality has disappeared…they need a new redeeming (sleep) quality from somewhere, mmeh.

This picture was the day it started, I should have seen the signs in Quinn there on the right.

The first time they woke up with fevers I rocked their hot little bodies for a couple hours while they went in and out of sleep. Casey was gone getting my mom from the airport and I had to wait for them to return to move them, it was oh so sad.

The death days of 4 out of 5 people not feeling great and everyone not getting any sleep.

a. Quinn's stank face of how he was feeling, poor guy

b. Max was cuddling with Casey in the middle of the night and it was the stinking cutest thing ever.

Entertaining our tired sick selves during church.

Any tips on getting babies back to sleeping through the night is GREATLY APPRECIATED! Sadly, we have a tiny house and they have to sleep in our room, we don't have another room for them with Maxson being in our 2nd bedroom. We've thought about sleeping in the family room for a week or so while they learn to sleep through their night wakenings and each other's cries (read let them cry for longer times at night. With them in our room we come to their rescue immediately so we can get the most sleep possible). Also, why are they not satisfied just by breastfeeding anymore?!? It takes so much longer to bottle feed them too and it's so frustrating!

Funny thing, after the third awful night of helping the babies I was sitting on my bed with one of them at 4 am feeding them a bottle or just hushing their cries and I remember thinking "As crappy as this is, I'm so glad it's me taking care of these boys. I love them so much and want to be the one nursing them back to health, cuddling them through the night, and holding them tight" Funny how motherhood works, huh?

Rant over.

Germs: go away.

Health: come back.

Babies: be better sleepers.

A post about being exhausted and children's sleep habits.

I  can feel my beloved/ sacred time of everyone take a nap beginning to fade. Max is starting to fight me on every afternoon nap.

I don't know why. He used to be such an angel to go down for naps. Wouldn't say 2 words about going down for a nap, he would just go into his bed and be completely fine with it and I'd just leave the room and he'd just go do his nap thing for 2-3 hours.

Lately his angelic like sleeping habits have changed. He scream-cries bloody murder when I mention it's time to go night-night. We haven't even begun anything to get ready for his nap and he's already crying/screaming at the thought of going to take a nap. I don't get it. And lately he wakes up crying and sad fem all episodes of sleeping be that night time or day time. What has changed in this kid? How am I supposed to nap with a screaming child upstairs? Ugggggggggggggg. Suggestions anyone?

I've gotten a little behind on blogging because I've been (trying/wanting) to take naps everyday at some point. So during the only 15 min-1 hour time slot I have completely alone time during the day I sleep, thus no daytime bloggging. I'm downright exhausted all day everyday. I do believe it has something to do with finally getting in a religious exercise routine, exercising sure feels great but I'm stinking tired all the day long. And then at night times Casey and I have been extra awesome as of recently to clean up the house super duper well each and every night. It's really only been getting done thanks to Casey's help. When I'm bum tired at the end of the night all I want to do is sit and do nothing but if I see Casey going I might as well get up too and get twice as much done with him around. So, thanks, lover.

And then after we clean I'm again still exhausted and add that to the fact that we've found a new show to binge watch together called The Unit (free with Amazon Prime membership!) I've really done nothing in my evenings.

Moms of 3+ kids, are you dog gone exhausted at the end of every night or is this just a phase?

Oh and the babies? We'll they're just exhausting, love them to pieces, but I wish so bad they would just take TWO 2 hour naps during the day with maybe another 45 minute one instead of 4 naps all lasting less than an hour. It just gives me no break when they only sleep for 45 minutes! They're hit and miss…

Ok, let's get onto something more interesting than Kimber complaining about children's sleep habits and being exhausted.

Actually, that's all I can think about right now is different things to do with sleep and me being exhausted so I'll just continue forward with that theme.

-I feel like I constantly can hear a baby crying even if there's no baby crying. At night trying to fall asleep for example, they're in my room, and my ears will still suddenly perk up and I will be fully awake thinking I can hear a baby crying downstairs. I look forward to that far distant background noise ending.

-I believe that since the babies were born I have not had one episode of sleep that wasn't ended by the sound of a child crying. When you think about it, what an awful way to wake up from sleeping, to the sounds of someone crying, ALWAYS. Truly not the most pleasant way to end a pleasant sleep.

-Today I was thinking how I've truly been blessed with babies who actually do sleep really really well in the big picture. Going down for naps is usually the easiest thing 99% of the time (except for the night I have to put all 3 down by myself, then they're all just awful). They just know it means sleep time and they go with little to no crying and little to no help from us. I'm so grateful that already at an early age they are like this (though it is because we pushed/trained/guided them to fall asleep by themselves a few weeks ago). They sleep really awesome throughout the night. Sometimes I only wake up once and if it's a bad night 3 separate times between the two of them. More often than not through I wake up 1-2 times a night with them, nurse them each laying down and go back to sleep myself. It truly could be worse.

- I told my mom and SIL the other day that at the end of everyday I feel completely exhausted and run down and wondered how long that was going to last/if it ever ends/if my SIL feels like that too. I kinda came to the conclusion that I am especially exhausted right now because of my circumstances but yes, I will feel exhausted for quite some time. And then I read this article (thanks, Katie!) that night and it brightened my spirits. This too shall pass for good and bad reasons.

 I'm so very grateful I'm exhausted because that means I'm blessed with so much. I would so rather be exhausted and worked hard like I am every single day like so rather than hoping and waiting everyday that I had a child to be exhausted with. I know my complaints are small in the big scheme and I'm grateful what problems I do have, like they say, if we all laid our troubles on the table you'd take yours and I'd take mine.

I HIGHLY look forward to the day that it will be possible to sleep 8 hours straight with no interruptions and waking up to the sounds of a quiet room/house. Trust me, when that day comes I WILL BLOG ABOUT IT.

And onto some incredibly random pictures about our life since I over-share just abut everything it seems like.

a. While I slowly woke up one morning and nursed the babies upstairs, Max was happily downstairs climbing on all the counters helping himself to a bowl of fruit loops (fruit loops are church snack only usually, naughty boy, but whatever…)
b. Putting up new pictures...

Making Texas Caviar by the butt loads for a few wonderful friends. Maxson taste tested every batch.

a. Quinny the little gangsta
b. A cold day activity: spray bottle, foam patters, and a window

a. Just cracking out some work before lunch.

a. Bryson smiles, baby's smiling is heart stopping.

Bryson

a. An everyday sight: babies in bumbos and Max sharing his toys.

a. Sometimes when I hold the babies on the rocking chair, Max decides he needs to site with me too, it gets  little squished ha. As I'm writing this I'm remembering when I was hugely pregnant with these babies and there would be next to no room for Max on the rocking chair ha

 We took a walk on a warm day. We didn't make it to the park yet (we have made it further each trip!) but I'm pretty certain there was at least 1 child crying at all points of our walk, ha, at one point I remember all 3 crying. Casey and I had fun to say the least. Max needs more practice on staying on his little kick board though. The whole way back he made Casey carry him, haha.

 Bryson's eyebrows kill me in this.

 a. Look at those little baby arms rolls, I just want to take a bite right there!
b. Sunday means train day!!! And by golly were we so wise to set aside Sunday as the designated only day the trains cmd out because then they're that much more special and he plays with them so much longer, it's great.

 a. Sly guy Bryson
b. Probably some love Bryson gave me in exchange. Pure motherly love right there.

 a. Walked in on max sleeping and lugged hard at the plethora of stuffed animals he hoarded from various places (the 2 baby's BYU animals and a duck that once covered the head of a golf club). There's also a tiny stuffed monkey squeezed below his chin.
b. Didn't quite muster up the time or energy to make sugar cookies for Valentines but cutting hearts out of play dough seemed to work even better for Max!

 a. "mmooo-eeee" smoothie
b. Still balancing even at (I'm guessing) 35 lbs ha

 a. Finally I was being the funny/fun parent and making Maxson uncontrollably laugh. Proud moment.

Bryson

 Watching Casey play with Max makes even me laugh so very much.

 Cute duo

 Maxson plopped himself purposely next to Quinn and began showing him what he was playing on the phone one day. Although it involved technology, it still made my heart happy to see Max trying to share his experiences with the babies.

 a. Probably one of my favorite pictures of Quinny: all bundles up like a babushka
b. Bryson

 Caught Max red handed in the tunnel with my telefono.

 The babies were arching their heads back and sideways trying to watch the TV with Max, little stinkers. It was a funny sight to see their eyeballs and heads looking so far backwards.

THE END ;)